


complete and utter chaos [group chat fic]

by analyticamethyst



Series: Tales of the Extended McDuck Clan [5]
Category: DuckTales (Cartoon 2017)
Genre: (joke is that each chapter is a day and one character will be added each chapter/day), Gen, Group Chat Fic, and it's as chaotic and humerous as you'd think, gyro is a SOFT BOI, it's just all those characters in a giant group chat, so is lena, some characters are tagged and will be added later, thatsa lotta relationships!!!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:02:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25432813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/analyticamethyst/pseuds/analyticamethyst
Summary: The McDuck family & friends participate in a mega group chat. (And some smaller ones.) Chaos ensures. (with a small dash of feeling here and there.)
Relationships: "Glittering" Goldie O'Gilt & Webby Vanderquack, B.O.Y.D. (Disney: DuckTales) & Della Duck, B.O.Y.D. (Disney: DuckTales) & Gyro Gearloose, B.O.Y.D. (Disney: DuckTales) & Huey Duck, Bentina Beakley & Scrooge McDuck, Bentina Beakley & Webby Vanderquack, Della Duck & Dewey Duck, Della Duck & Dewey Duck & Donald Duck & Huey Duck & Louie Duck, Della Duck & Donald Duck, Della Duck & Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera, Della Duck & Gyro Gearloose, Dewey Duck & "Glittering" Goldie O'Gilt, Dewey Duck & Donald Duck & Huey Duck & Louie Duck, Dewey Duck & Donald Duck & Huey Duck & Louie Duck & Webby Vanderquack, Dewey Duck & Huey Duck & Louie Duck, Dewey Duck & Huey Duck & Louie Duck & Lena & Violet Sabrewing & Webby Vanderquack, Dewey Duck & Huey Duck & Louie Duck & Lena & Webby Vanderquack, Dewey Duck & Penumbra (Disney: DuckTales), Donald Duck & "Glittering" Goldie O'Gilt, Donald Duck & Scrooge McDuck, Donald Duck & Webby Vanderquack, Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera & Fethry Duck & Gyro Gearloose, Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera & Gyro Gearloose, Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera & Gyro Gearloose & Lil' Bulb & Manny the Headless Man-Horse, Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera & Gyro Gearloose & Manny the Headless Man-Horse, Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera & Huey Duck, Fethry Duck & Huey Duck, Fethry Duck & Violet Sabrewing, Gyro Gearloose & Little Helper | Lil' Bulb, Gyro Gearloose & Webby Vanderquack, Huey Duck & Gyro Gearloose, Indy Sabrewing & Lena (Disney: DuckTales), Indy Sabrewing & Ty Sabrewing & Violet Sabrewing, Lena (Disney: DuckTales) & Violet Sabrewing, Louie Duck & "Glittering" Goldie O'Gilt, Scrooge McDuck/"Glittering" Goldie O'Gilt, Ty Sabrewing & Lena (Disney: DuckTales)
Series: Tales of the Extended McDuck Clan [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1758823
Comments: 41
Kudos: 131





	1. in which Donald gets into petty fights, Goldie tries to sell her mentorship services, Gyro and Della fight over names, and more nonsense

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so there are a lot of names here! here's a nice handy list for the beginning. The way I designed the chat system is like discord, where you have one set name and you can change it for individual servers, if that makes any sense. The actual chatting part of it isn't like a discord server with separate channels, but a regular text group chat. Hopefully that's not too confusing!
> 
> Without further ado, here are the names everyone starts out with!
> 
> Huey: Junior-Woodchuck74  
> Dewey: ICanDeweyIt  
> Louie: Lou / green-sharpie  
> Webby: TheWebbedWonder / Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl  
> Donald: aw-phooey  
> Scrooge: Scrooge-McDuck  
> Della: worldsgreatestadventurer  
> Beakley: 22  
> Launchpad: TheCrashiestCrash  
> Lena: lenaonme  
> Violet: Violet-Sabrewing  
> Duckworth: ghostbutler  
> Gyro: worldsgreatestinventor  
> Fenton: TotallyNotGizmoduck  
> Manny: ihaveahead!!!  
> Lil' Bulb: worldsgreatestinvention  
> Gladstone: Lucky-Gander  
> Fethry: mutant-krill!!!!  
> Indy: Indy_Sabrewing  
> Ty: purpleisforthegays  
> Goldie: Wine-Aunt  
> Penny: moonlander-general

**group chat: let kids be kids**

_Junior-Woodchuck74, ICanDeweyIt, Lou, TheWebbedWonder, lenaonme, Violet-Sabrewing,_

_1:47 pm_

TheWebbedWonder: hey guys

TheWebbedWonder: This group chat is amazing!!!

TheWebbedWonder: I’ve never really been part of a group chat before so i love it!!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: To be fair, you didn’t have a phone before Uncle Donald 

TheWebbedWonder: Yes, and I am forever grateful to him

ICanDeweyIt: Dadnald strikes again!!

TheWebbedWonder: Anyway

TheWebbedWonder: You know what would be fun?

Lou: what

TheWebbedWonder: Let’s make a group chat for the whole family!!

Lou: But we already have a family gc

TheWebbedWonder: I know

TheWebbedWonder: But we don’t have one with the extended family!

ICanDeweyIt: omg that’d be so chaotic

ICanDeweyIt: IM IN

TheWebbedWonder: HECK YEAH

**new group chat: Family Groupchat!!!**

_1:56 pm_

_Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl created chat_

_Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl added Junior-Woodchuck74_ , _ICanDeweyIt, green-sharpie, aw-phooey, Scrooge-McDuck, worldsgreatestadventurer, 22, TheCrashiestCrash, lenaonme, Violet-Sabrewing, and ghostbutler._

aw-phooey: Webs

aw-phooey: We already have a family group chat

Scrooge-McDuck: Aye, I do not need more of these blasted text messages making my phone make noises.

Scrooge-McDuck: it’s quite distracting when I’m in a board meeting

green-sharpie: dude just mute the chat

aw-phooey: Louie he is not allowed to mute the chat

aw-phooey: you know the rules

worldsgreatestadventurer: besides that would be no fun >:(

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: Hang on

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: Im adding more people I just have to find their usernames

Violet-Sabrewing: *I’m

lenaonme: omg vi cmon

Violet-Sabrewing: Lena, we are sisters. You know me well. Did you not think I would correct Webbigail’s grammar?

lenaonme: yea

lenaonme: but webby needs to maintain her excited aesthetic

Violet-Sabrewing: Understandable.

_Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl added worldsgreatestinventor, TotallyNotGizmoduck, ihaveahead!!!, worldsgreatestinvention, Lucky-Gander, mutant-krill!!!!, purpleisforthegays, Indy_Sabrewing, moonlander-general, and Wine-Aunt_

worldsgreatestinventor: what on earth

worldsgreatestinventor: this is ridiculous

TotallyNotGizmoduck: agree to disagree Dr. Gearloose

TotallyNotGizmoduck: This is so cool!!!

worldsgreatestinventor: believe what you want fenton, but i am inherently correct

ICanDeweyIt: like i said

ICanDeweyIt: SO chaotic

worldsgreatestadventurer: Gyro!!!

worldsgreatestadventurer: One of us is gonna have to change

TotallyNotGizmoduck: But Gyro and Lil’ Bulb match!!! It’s so cute!!!

TheCrashiestCrash: aww!!

worldsgreatestinvention: agreed we are adorable.

worldsgreatestadventurer: ok now two of us will have to change.

worldsgreatestadventurer: LIL’ BULB.

Junior-Woodchuck74: This is going to be so confusing

ICanDeweyIt: AND CHAOTIC

moonlander-general: Dewey, you have a one-track mind.

worldsgreatestinventor: Fenton for the love of all things science I thought I told you to change your ridiculous name!

TotallyNotGizmoduck: I changed it in the Team Science group chat!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: YOU HAVE A TEAM SCIENCE GROUP CHAT????

lenaonme: damn huey

lenaonme: that was intense

green-sharpie: trust me lena u aint seen nothin yet

Violet-Sabrewing: Louie, your grammar is atrocious.

Junior-Woodchuck74: Trust me Vi he knows

Junior-Woodchuck74: He does it on purpose

Scrooge-McDuck: What was that blasted thing you said?

Scrooge-McDuck: For the aztec???

Violet-Sabrewing: I believe you may mean aesthetic?

Violet-Sabrewing: It means for visual appeal.

green-sharpie: right on vi

green-sharpie: lena were finally getting to her

green-sharpie: she understands pop culture

Indy_Sabrewing: I will not let you corrupt my beautiful daughter!

Indy_Sabrewing: She is wonderful the way she is.

Indy_Sabrewing: Of course, if Violet wishes to learn pop culture, she may.

Violet-Sabrewing: I do, thank you Dad!

purpleisforthegays: I, for one, am glad.

lenaonme: SIR

lenaonme: POPS

lenaonme: you have my respect forever

purpleisforthegays: Good to hear!

lenaonme: best name goes to ty sabrewing!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: omg agreed

lenaonme: also he’s right

TheCrashiestCrash: Yeah!

purpleisforthegays: Thank you Lena! I love you!

lenaonme: sdfghhgfsldkfsslfdejsdhshdgs

lenaonme: <3 <3 

lenaonme: im not gonna do my chores when i’m in teenage rebellion mode tho

purpleisforthegays: Hmm

purpleisforthegays: Disappointing.

Indy_Sabrewing: what did you expect honey

Scrooge-McDuck: Lena what is that… thing you just typed?

moonlander-general: did you just have a stroke? Is she in good health?

ICanDeweyIt: it’s a keysmash Uncle Scrooge

Violet-Sabrewing: It is a way to express intense emotion.

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: lena was overwhelmed by the love!! Which we will continue to give because she’s a beautiful angel who deserves all the love in the world!!!

lenaonme: omg webs

lenaonme: 💖💕💜💖💕💖💖💖💜💜💕💕💕💖💖💙

TheCrashiestCrash: it’s like a crash… but in text form!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: Somehow, that is accurate.

Violet-Sabrewing: @moonlander-general Lena is okay!

moonlander-general: I am relieved.

moonlander-general: not that I was worried about her.

worldsgreatestadventurer: aww, Penny! You care!!

moonlander-general: …

moonlander-general: Fine.

lenaonme: thanks Penny

Junior-Woodchuck74: @worldsgreatestinventor @TotallyNotGizmoduck @ihaveahead!!! @worldsgreatestinvention ADD ME TO THE TEAM SCIENCE GROUPCHAT YOU COWARDS

worldsgreatestinventor: you’re still on about that huh

ihaveahead!!!: done

worldsgreatestinventor: MANNY

ihaveahead!!!: dr. gearloose u should know this by now.

ihaveahead!!!: i am no coward.

worldsgreatestinvention: i can confirm this.

worldsgreatestinventor: YOU CAN’T ADD PEOPLE TO MY GROUP CHAT WITHOUT MY CONSENT

TotallyNotGizmoduck: Actually, it’s technically my groupchat. I set it up.

TotallyNotGizmoduck: Dewey and I set up your account, remember Dr. Gearloose?

worldsgreatestinventor: …

worldsgreatestinventor: You still need to change your name, Fenton.

TotallyNotGizmoduck: fine.

_TotallyNotGizmoduck changed their name to Blathering-Blatherskite_

worldsgreatestinventor: That’s not much better.

worldsgreatestadventurer: you also need to change your name gyro!!

worldsgreatestadventurer: you too lil’ bulb

worldsgreatestinvention: i disagree

22: This is becoming tiring.

_22 changed worldsgreatestadventurer’s name to Della_

_22 changed worldsgreatestinventor’s name to Gyro_

_22 changed worldsgreatestinvention’s name to Lil’ Bulb_

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: Granny!!!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: I know you don’t usually use group chats so it’s nice to see you 🥰 💕

22: Webby, I’m sitting across the room from you.

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: Aw c’mon Granny you know what I mean 💕🥺

22: ...Nice to see you too, dear.

Della: >:O

Della: enough with the soft fluff melting my heart

Della: MRS. B!!!

Della: betrayed by my own housekeeper/bodyguard/mentor *sad emoji*

Junior-Woodchuck74: Mom you know you can actually use emojis right?

Della: whatever

_Della changed their name to Adventure-Pilot_

Adventure-Pilot: @Gyro truce?

Gyro: Fine.

Gyro: I accept.

Gyro: But don’t believe that this is so easily forgotten!!

Adventure-Pilot: aww I’ve missed our prank wars!!

_Gyro changed their name to wildlymisunderstood_

wildlymisunderstood: i haven’t.

Adventure-Pilot: awwwww!!!

Adventure-Pilot: I speak Gyro. I know you’re really saying i love you Della and i missed you too!!

wildlymisunderstood: ...i am not. your gyrospeak is incorrect.

Blathering-Blatherskite: I actually speak Gyro and I can attest to this.

Blathering-Blatherskite: He’s actually saying: I hate your prank wars with a passion but I still missed you and I feel responsible for the Spear of Selene breaking down.

wildlymisunderstood: Cabrera!!!

wildlymisunderstood: i told you that in confidence!!!

Blathering-Blatherskite: Oh no 

Blathering-Blatherskite: I’m “Cabrera” again

wildlymisunderstood: you dug your own grave

Blathering-Blatherskite: DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO GET HIM TO CALL ME FENTON????

green-sharpie: ...i can tell ur really upset about it…

Junior-Woodchuck74: Louie c’mon

aw-phooey: louie

Scrooge-McDuck: bless me bagpipes

Scrooge-McDuck: I do not want to go through this again

Blathering-Blatherskite: ...I may have messed up.

wildlyunderstood: MAY??

lenaonme: tbh we all knew that, mr. mad scientist.

wildlymisunderstood: excuse me! it is _doctor_ mad scientist to you!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: after what happened in Tokyolk I’m not 100% sure you even have a doctorate 

lenaonme: damn y’all got to go to tokyolk

lenaonme: lucky

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: ikr

Junior-Woodchuck74: trust me it was very stressful

Junior-Woodchuck74: But also fun!

_aw-phooey has changed wildlymisunderstood’s name to dr. mad scientist_

dr. mad scientist: thank you.

dr. mad scientist: i guess.

Scrooge-McDuck: Aye Gyro, it’s not a secret.

Scrooge-McDuck: But all is well. I never blamed you and neither did Della

Adventure-Pilot: huh, I never knew that. Sorry gy-man

Adventure-Pilot: uncle scrooge is right. I don’t blame you dude

dr. mad scientist: … good to hear, i guess.

dr. mad scientist: i’m glad you’re back, della.

Adventure-Pilot: <3 <3 <3 <3 I love you too!!!!!

dr. mad scientist: ugh, affection. disgusting.

Lil’ Bulb: he loves it.

dr. mad scientist: besides i’m gay.

Adventure-Pilot: that’s not what I meant and you know it.

Junior-Woodchuck74: heck yeah for platonic affection!!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: heck yeah!!

ICanDeweyIt: heck yeah!!

mutant-krill!!!!: heck yeah!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: FETHRY

aw-phooey: hi feth!!

green-sharpie: wait there are more people

green-sharpie: this chat is confusing enough, webs.

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: Just you wait!! I have a list of people I’d like to add that aren’t in the chat yet!!

green-sharpie: wait is this one of your meticulously planned out fantasies-turned-schemes?

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: yep!!

lenaonme: wow what a surprise.

Violet-Sabrewing: Ah, it’s nice to see another one of your thoughtful plans play out successfully, Webbigail!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: thank you Vi!! 💖💖

mutant-krill!!!!: Hi Huey!! I miss you!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: I miss you too!!

moonlander-general: why are you so passionate about “mutant krill”?

mutant-krill!!!!: my dearest companion, Mitzy, is a mutant krill!!

moonlander-general: hmm. Understood slightly, may need more context in the future.

ICanDeweyIt: i’ll fill you in later Penny dw.

mutant-krill!!!!: Mitzy says hi, everyone.

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: Hi Mitzy!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: Hi Mitzy!!

Adventure-Pilot: Hi Mitzy!!

aw-phooey: hi mitzy!!

Violet-Sabrewing: Hi, Mitzy!!

Violet-Sabrewing: Even though I have not met you yet.

mutant-krill!!!!: Mitzy says it’s nice to meet you, Violet!!!

mutant-krill!!!!: and I say that, as well!!

Violet-Sabrewing: It’s nice to meet you too, Fethry!

Junior-Woodchuck74: Isn’t it wild that some of our family has just straight up

Junior-Woodchuck74: never met each other

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: yeah

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: We should have a big introduction party!!

TheCrashiestCrash: That’d be fun!!

TheCrashiestCrash: i’ll help you plan webs!!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: Thanks LP!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: @ghostbutler @Junior-Woodchuck74 join the planning committee!!

ghostbutler: hmm

ghostbutler: no.

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: c’mon you’ll get to prove you’re a better party planner than Huey!

Junior-Woodchuck74: hey!

ghostbutler: i already did that.

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: Do it again, then!

Indy_Sabrewing: Excuse me, but is that not essentially the purpose of this chat?

Scrooge-McDuck: Ack, the lass is right. this newfangled tech cannot beat face-to-face interactions!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: 🥰

lenaonme: scrooge grandpa moment

aw-phooey: HAHAHAAHAHAHA

Scrooge-McDuck: excuse me lass

aw-phooey: scrooge grandpa moment

Scrooge-McDuck: DONALD DUCK

aw-phooey: hahahahaha

Scrooge-McDuck: I AM YOUR UNCLE

Scrooge-McDuck: Show some respect

Scrooge-McDuck: YOU TOO LENA SABREWING

lenaonme: 😔😔

lenaonme: 😘

aw-phooey: you lost my respect a long time ago and you know it

TheCrashiestCrash: You have my respect, Mr. McDee!!

TheCrashiestCrash: So do you Mr. Dee!!

aw-phooey: thank u launchpad

aw-phooey: you have my respect too

Scrooge-McDuck: Aye

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: Aww how wholesome!

green-sharpie: this chat is wild

ICanDeweyIt: why dear brother, that’s the point!!

22: Chaos is not a desired concept, Dewey.

Adventure-Pilot: agreed Dew chaos is fun!!

ICanDeweyIt: Heck yeah Mom validation!!

Adventure-Pilot: mom validation is here anytime you want it, sweetie!!

ICanDeweyIt: sdfghgfds

Adventure-Pilot: but also I’m here to spite Mrs. B for changing my glorious name.

dr. mad scientist: wasn’t all that glorious

Adventure-Pilot: you’d better watch yourself, gyro. The prank war is back on!!

Blathering-Blatherskite: Dang, you scared him!! Gyro just got up and sprinted out of the lab!

Scrooge-McDuck: ARE YOU ALL TEXTING WHEN I’M PAYING YOU TO WORK

Blathering-Blatherskite: blathering blatherskite

Junior-Woodchuck74: haha

lenaonme: ssksksksksks

Blathering-Blatherskite: well I can’t very well say it out loud!

TheCrashiestCrash: wait why?

Blathering-Blatherskite: uhhh

Blathering-Blatherskite: gotta go Scrooge just stormed down to the lab 

ihaveahead!!!: lol

Wine-Aunt: eh chaos can be pretty useful sometimes.

aw-phooey: @Wine-Aunt change your name there are children here

mutant-krill!!!!: wow that was fast Donnie!

aw-phooey: that’s what happens when you have kids, feth.

Adventure-Pilot: agreed.

22: agreed.

Scrooge-McDuck: agreed.

Indy_Sabrewing: agreed.

purpleisforthegays: agreed.

ICanDeweyIt: aw cmon uncle donald we all know what wine is

ICanDeweyIt: Louie’s even had it before!

green-sharpie: seriously dewford???

aw-phooey: WHAT

aw-phooey: LOUIE DUCK

green-sharpie: brb

Wine-Aunt: haha

ICanDeweyIt: @Wine-Aunt you sowed so much chaos!!

ICanDeweyIt: Teach me ur ways

Wine-Aunt: hmm i’ll consider it. how much will you pay me?

ICanDeweyIt: uhh

ICanDeweyIt: i’m kinda broke

ICanDeweyIt: i spent all my money on tickets to see the featherweights last month with lena 

lenaonme: it was lit tho you have to admit that

ICanDeweyIt: true

ICanDeweyIt: @Wine-Aunt n e ways do you accept handwritten personal monologues?

Wine-Aunt: no.

ICanDeweyIt: darn it i have so many of those!

TheCrashiestCrash: I’ll take one, Dewey!

Violet-Sabrewing: Launchpad, you have 25.

TheCrashiestCrash: Oh right!!

ICanDeweyIt: what about being a guest on my coveted youtube talk show, Dewey Dewnite!!!

ICanDeweyIt: also available on TikTok!

Wine-Aunt: honey.

Wine-Aunt: you’d be _lucky_ to have me on your show.

Wine-Aunt: we can add that to your package if you’d prefer?

ICanDeweyIt: uhh sure

ICanDeweyIt: uhh @Scrooge-McDuck @aw-phooey @Adventure-Pilot @22 @ghostbutler please give me money

aw-phooey: no way

22: No way

ghostbutler: no way

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: Hi Duckworth!!

ghostbutler: hello Webbigail

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: :D

Adventure-Pilot: I’d give you money but I’m also broke

Adventure-Pilot: I was on the moon for ten years! i don’t have a job, remember?

ICanDeweyIt: oh yeah

ICanDeweyIt: uncle scrooge?

Scrooge-McDuck: it’s bad enough that Louie is consorting with Goldie and seeking her expertise. I will not support or fund your attempts to mimic him.

ICanDeweyIt: wait that’s goldie?

ICanDeweyIt: as in AUNT goldie???

Wine-Aunt: this name is not for you.

Scrooge-McDuck: are you sure about that, love?

_Wine-Aunt changed their name to wreathedingold_

wreathedingold: if you must know, I lost a bet.

TheCrashiestCrash: to who?

Violet-Sabrewing: *whom

Scrooge-McDuck: yes, I would like to know who bested Goldie O’Gilt!!

Scrooge-McDuck: Aside from me, of course.

wreathedingold: my granddaughter dickie

Scrooge-McDuck: oh

green-sharpie: >:o @wreathedingold is MY mentor dewford!!

green-sharpie: you already have mom!!

ICanDeweyIt: she can have two mentees!!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: correction:

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: she can have _three_

wreathedingold: @Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl i refuse to teach you _just_ for that name

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: *surprised pikachu meme*

Scrooge-McDuck: Hey

_Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl changed their name to TheWebbedWonder_

Scrooge-McDuck: HEY

TheWebbedWonder: how’s that?

TheWebbedWonder: Besides Aunt Goldie

wreathedingold: don’t call me that

TheWebbedWonder: i know you’re actually threatened because you think _you’re_ the ultimate scrooge fangirl

wreathedingold: no

lenaonme: sksdkdkskd

TheWebbedWonder: Eh lie to yourself all you want

green-sharpie: daaaaaang webs!!!

green-sharpie: proud of u

22: So am I

TheWebbedWonder: Awww!! 💜💕💖💕💙💜💙💖💕

moonlander-general: why is no one talking about the picture Webby posted

moonlander-general: what is that thing

moonlander-general: is it an earth species??

ICanDeweyIt: PENNY DOESN’T KNOW POKEMON

ICanDeweyIt: @aw-phooey @green-sharpie @Junior-Woodchuck74 @TheWebbedWonder @Blathering-Blatherskite @TheCrashiestCrash @Lil’ Bulb THIS CALLS FOR AN INTERVENTION

moonlander-general: is this “pokemon” really that important?

Blathering-Blatherskite: YES

Blathering-Blatherskite: albeit I really need to get back to work

Blathering-Blatherskite: intervention postponed?

ICanDeweyIt: fine

ICanDeweyIt: like this message if you want to join the Teach Penny Pokemon Group Chat!

_This message was liked by Junior-Woodchuck74, aw-phooey, Lil’ Bulb, green-sharpie, Blathering-Blatherskite, Scrooge-McDuck, Adventure-Pilot, mutant-krill!!!!, TheWebbedWonder, lenaonme, Indy_Sabrewing, TheCrashiestCrash, and Lucky-Gander_

Lil’ Bulb: add Gyro to the chat

ICanDeweyIt: sdfgfdf ok

dr. mad scientist: do not

ICanDeweyIt: hehehe too late!!

moonlander-general: I did not like the message

moonlander-general: Do not add me to the chat

Adventure-Pilot: You can’t get out of this, Penny

Adventure-Pilot: it’s a coveted earth custom

Adventure-Pilot: also I need to catch up on the latest games

Adventure-Pilot: apparently it’s in the real world now???

dr. mad scientist: wow you are behind

Lil’ Bulb: good thing ur in the chat

Adventure-Pilot: wow rude

aw-phooey: @Lucky-Gander i c u lurking

Lucky-Gander: I am

Lucky-Gander: what was it you said green bean

Lucky-Gander: Vibing?

green-sharpie: YES

green-sharpie: good job uncle gladstone

Lucky-Gander: It was a lucky guess ;)

aw-phooey: of course

mutant-krill!!!!: Hi Gladdy!!!

Lucky-Gander: Hi Fethry!!

Scrooge-McDuck: bless me bagpipes

Scrooge-McDuck: what in dismal downs does that mean?

Lucky-Gander: I’m vibing on a yacht I won yesterday Uncle McDunkle

Scrooge-McDuck: So does it mean freeloading?

Lucky-Gander: I’m not

Lucky-Gander: I won it with my own money

Lucky-Gander: Ooh I just found $20

Scrooge-McDuck: Xandra, coveted goddess of adventure, give me strength to get through this

aw-phooey: 😳

wreathedingold: huh when did you turn religious?

aw-phooey: he’s not

aw-phooey: he’s just mad at me because Panchito, José, and I went on secret adventures with Xandra

Adventure-Pilot: YOU WHAT

aw-phooey: oh no

aw-phooey: @22 @ghostbutler hide me

22: no

ghostbutler: no

22: You dug your own grave

green-sharpie: finally I can stop running

aw-phooey: no you can’t louie

aw-phooey: watch your back

green-sharpie: heck

green-sharpie: @ICanDeweyIt this is your fault dew

TheCrashiestCrash: Hey Webster

TheWebbedWonder: yes LP?

TheCrashiestCrash: You should add Panchito and José to this chat

TheCrashiestCrash: They’re family too!!

aw-phooey: YES

TheWebbedWonder: for sure! @aw-phooey can I get their usernames? They’re not in the McDuck Family Database

Scrooge-McDuck: how did you get into that

Scrooge-McDuck: I did not create that for the intention of a blasted group chat

TheWebbedWonder: On a completely unrelated note, thanks for giving me access to the archives uncle scrooge!!! I really appreciate it!!!

Scrooge-McDuck: bless me bagpipes

Scrooge-McDuck: I don’t like this chat, but you’re family Webbigail. Of course you get access

TheWebbedWonder: SJDKSKFGSKDHGDSGDUSBDGSSBD

TheWebbedWonder: 💕💕💖💖💕💜💜💙💖💖💕💙💕💖💙💜💖💖💙💕

22: Scrooge McDuck if you have killed my granddaughter I will kill you

Scrooge-McDuck: noted

aw-phooey: i’ll pm you once I defeat dell and find louie @TheWebbedWonder

Adventure-Pilot: YOU WON’T GET AWAY FROM ME THAT EASILY

aw-phooey: yes i will

TheWebbedWonder: Thanks Uncle Donald!!

TheWebbedWonder: @wreathedingold will you mentor me now? I have a different name!

wreathedingold: you still have to pay me

Scrooge-McDuck: Goldie stop running cons on my kids

TheCrashiestCrash: I’ll mentor you Webster!!

TheWebbedWonder: Thanks LP!!

TheCrashiestCrash: anytime!!

TheCrashiestCrash: Our first session will be watching every single Darkwing Duck episode!!

22: Wait that is what we did last week

22: _Is Launchpad mentoring me??_

Scrooge-McDuck: HAHAHAHA

ghostbutler: HAHAHAHAHA

22: @Scrooge-McDuck @ghostbutler You would do well to watch your backs and sleep with one eye open. Bentina Beakley does not forget insults.

green-sharpie: ooooooo

ICanDeweyIt: *eating-popcorn-gif*

lenaonme: dewey no

Lil’ Bulb: @ICanDeweyIt come on

moonlander-general: I am pleased with the amount of combat sparked from this chat.

aw-phooey: i’m not

Indy_Sabrewing: Neither am I. This is concerning.

Violet-Sabrewing: What did you expect from the McDuck family?

lenaonme: uncle d you’ve been doing half the fighting

Lucky-Gander: Yeah Don you don’t have much of a leg to stand on here.

aw-phooey: tell louie and della to stop acting out then

Adventure-Pilot: You’re the one who acted out!

aw-phooey: oh no, i did stuff with my friends, the horror.

aw-phooey: kids, this is not an example for you to follow.

green-sharpie: darn it!

TheWebbedWonder: @TheCrashiestCrash sounds exciting!! I’m there!!

TheCrashiestCrash: Yay!! Mrs. Beakley can join us as well!!

22: no

TheWebbedWonder: @wreathedingold you’re still mentoring me though

wreathedingold: hmm let me think about that

wreathedingold: no.

TheCrashiestCrash: yes! I am the superior mentor!

**new group chat: Teach Penny and Mom Pokemon Group Chat!!!!**

_3:02 pm_

_ICanDeweyIt created the chat_

_ICanDeweyIt added moonlander-general, Junior-Woodchuck74, aw-phooey, worldsgreatestinvention, green-sharpie, TotallyNotGizmoduck, Scrooge-McDuck, worldsgreatestadventurer, mutant-krill!!!!, Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl, lenaonme, Indy_Sabrewing, TheCrashiestCrash, worldsgreatestinventor, and Lucky-Gander_

Junior-Woodchuck74: I am not going through this again

Junior-Woodchuck74: @worldsgreatestinventor @worldsgreatestinvention @worldsgreatestadventurer change

worldsgreatestinventor: ugh fine

_worldsgreatestinventor changed their name to wildlymisunderstood_

_worldsgreatestinvention changed their name to Lil’ Bulb_

_worldsgreatestadventurer changed their name to universesgreatestadventurer_

universesgreatestadventurer: HAH

universesgreatestadventurer: @wildlymisunderstood TAKE THAT

wildlymisunderstood: whatever

wildlymisunderstood: it doesn’t have the same ring to it

universesgreatestadventurer: idc

universesgreatestadventurer: i went to space so worldsgreatestadventurer is inaccurate anyway

wildlymisunderstood: well i built the rocket that took you to space so I should be universesgreatestinventor!

Junior-Woodchuck74: Do not change your name Gyro

wildlymisunderstood: it’s dr. gearloose

Junior-Woodchuck74: if you do I’ll make Dewey come over to the lab and give you his 2.5 hour powerpoint presentation about how brilliant High School Musical is 

ICanDeweyIt: HEY

ICanDeweyIt: it’s a good movie!

Junior-Woodchuck74: Not as good as you think it is

wildlymisunderstood: fine

ICanDeweyIt: :(

ICanDeweyIt: why must you wound me like this dear brother

_moonlander-general left the chat_

_ICanDeweyIt added moonlander-general_

_ICanDeweyIt restricted leaving_

moonlander-general: Hey!

**Family Group Chat!!!**

_5:37 pm_

ICanDeweyIt: wow that killed the chat

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: uncle scrooge is having a crisis

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: he won’t let me comfort him :(

mutant-krill!!!!: oh no, is Uncle Scrooge okay?

22: He is fine. He just did not realize something.

22: something obvious.

lenaonme: sssdfgfds

Blathering-Blatherskite: wow, this is like one of M’ma’s telenovas!

Junior-Woodchuck74: @TheWebbedWonder why is Officer Cabrera not in this chat? She’s family too!!

green-sharpie: yeah she makes the best food for family gatherings.

lenaonme: agreed.

22: watch yourself, Louie.

ghostbutler: agreed, Louie.

22: I will come for you too, Duckworth!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: I don’t have her username, Dew.

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: I told you guys I have a whole list of people i’d add if I could

Blathering-Blatherskite: I’ll pm it to you Webs once I get off of work.

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: Thanks Fenton!

Scrooge-McDuck: now get back to work, Crackshell-Cabrera!

Blathering-Blatherskite: Right away, sir! 

\--

_2:34 am_

Lil’ Bulb: anyone up lol

ihaveahead!!!: yea lol

dr. mad scientist: what the heck go to sleep 

dr. mad scientist: heck

dr. mad scientist: heck

dr. mad scientist: heck u

dr. mad scientist: motherhecker

dr. mad scientist: @aw-phooey STOP EDITING MY TEXTS

aw-phooey: this is a family groupchat. with CHILDREN.

aw-phooey: ur a father u should understand

dr. mad scientist: what no im not

Junior-Woodchuck74: What about Boyd?

Lil’ Bulb: what about ME???

aw-phooey: huey go to sleep or i’m taking your phone

Junior-Woodchuck74: what?! I’m the good kid!

ICanDeweyIt: hey!

aw-phooey: that goes for you too dew

TheCrashiestCrash: Haha that rhymes!

dr. mad scientist: @Junior-Woodchuck74 if Boyd wants to live with me he can

Junior-Woodchuck74: He does

dr. mad scientist: well he hasn’t said anything

22: Wow you are dense.

dr. mad scientist: hey!

Blathering-Blatherskite: Oh dear

Blathering-Blatherskite: Huey’s right though Dr. Gearloose…

dr. mad scientist: you’re still on cabrera terms shut up

Blathering-Blatherskite: oh blathering blatherskite

ihaveahead!!!: lol

**PM between worldsgreatestinventor and Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl**

_3:01 am_

worldsgreatestinventor: @adefinitelyrealboy

worldsgreatestinventor: that is boyd’s number

worldsgreatestinventor: add him if you want

worldsgreatestinventor: i don’t care

_3:14 am_

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: *wink emoji*

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: I’m adding to my journal entries on the McDuck family that you are a father

worldsgreatestinventor: wtf webby you’re supposed to be asleep

worldsgreatestinventor: why am i in your journals 

worldsgreatestinventor: erase my entries this instant!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: listen Dr. Gearloose

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: I used to think that family means blood

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: but it doesn’t

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: I’m family and so are you

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: so is Boyd, not because he’s basically your son but because he’s Huey’s good friend and now mine and the rest of the kids’

_read 3:16 am_

_3:23 am_

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: sorry I didn’t mean to scare you off

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: I’m not always great at social stuff

_3:25 am_

worldsgreatestinventor: you’re fine

worldsgreatestinventor: i’m not either

worldsgreatestinventor: i left you on read because i didn’t know what to say but

worldsgreatestinventor: thanks webby

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: anytime <3

_read 3:26 am_

**group chat: Team Uncle McDunkle (les parentals)**

_Dadnald, Moneybags, acepilot, 22, purpleisforthegays, Indy_Sabrewing  
_

_4:56 am_

_Dadnald added worldsgreatestinventor_

Moneybags: donald go to sleep

Dadnald: nah

worldsgreatestinventor: oh come on

Dadnald: accept it gyro ur a dad now

Dadnald: one of us, one of us

purpleisforthegays: One of us, one of us

acepilot: one of us, one of us

worldsgreatestinventor: oh thank god i don’t have to change my name 

acepilot: i’ll make you change it just for that

worldsgreatestinventor: >:(

22: everyone go to sleep right now

**PM between Scrooge-McDuck and Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl**

_6:48 am_

Scrooge-McDuck: Good morning Webby darling!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: good morning Uncle Scrooge!

Scrooge-McDuck: You mentioned you have a list of people you would like to add to the family group chat?

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: yes, do you have any requests?

Scrooge-McDuck: Perhaps? I’m mailing a letter to my parents today, and I’ve decided to enclose smartphones so they can chat.

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: YES

Scrooge-McDuck: Webbigail, I haven’t even asked yet

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: THEY CAN JOIN THE GROUPCHAT

Scrooge-McDuck: I take it they’re on your list?

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: ABSOLUTELY

Scrooge-McDuck: It’ll take a couple days to get through

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: I CAN’T WAIT


	2. in which hHuey finally makes it into the Team Science group chat, and Lil' Bulb starts a robot uprising, Boyd is a pure bean, and more nonsense

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boyd joins the fray and is a ray of sunshine! Huey and Gyro fight for Huey's right to be in the Team Science group chat, Lil' Bulb starts a robot uprising against Scrooge, and Huey and Fenton start an investigation into the suspiciousness of the Three Caballeros.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> namez! 
> 
> Huey: Junior-Woodchuck74  
> Dewey: ICanDeweyIt  
> Louie: Lou / green-sharpie*  
> Webby: TheWebbedWonder / Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl*  
> Donald: aw-phooey* / Dadnald  
> Scrooge: Scrooge-McDuck* / Moneybags  
> Della: worldsgreatestadventurer* / Adventure-Pilot / universesgreatestadventurer /acepilot  
> Beakley: 22  
> Launchpad: TheCrashiestCrash  
> Lena: lenaonme  
> Violet: Violet-Sabrewing  
> Duckworth: ghostbutler  
> Gyro: worldsgreatestinventor* / dr mad scientist / wildlymisunderstood  
> Fenton: TotallyNotGizmoduck* / Blathering-Blatherskite  
> Manny: ihaveahead!!!  
> Lil' Bulb: worldsgreatestinvention* / Lil' Bulb  
> Gladstone: Lucky-Gander  
> Fethry: mutant-krill!!!!  
> Indy: Indy_Sabrewing  
> Ty: purpleisforthegays  
> Goldie: Wine-Aunt* / wreathedingold  
> Penny: moonlander-general  
> Boyd: adefinitelyrealboy
> 
> *main

**Family Groupchat!!!**

_7:00 am_

aw-phooey: listen up everyone

aw-phooey: this is an acceptable time to text

aw-phooey: not a minute before

aw-phooey: @Junior-Woodchuck74 @green-sharpie @ICanDeweyIt @TheWebbedWonder @lenaonme @Violet-Sabrewing if i see you online before then there will be consequences

aw-phooey: everyone else… legally i can’t do anything to you

lenaonme: legally you can’t do anything to me anyway

purpleisforthegays: Indy and I can, though

lenaonme: wow rude :( ur my favorite responsible parents I lov u

Indy_Sabrewing: I will excuse your atrocious grammar this one time and accept the sentiment, Lena.

purpleisforthegays: and it is returned in full!!

lenaonme: sdfghkgfdskfskdfklsd!!! 💕💕💕💕💕💜💕💖💖💙💕💖💕💕💜

aw-phooey: text this chat earlier than 7 am and you’d better believe it’d better be an emergency

Lucky-Gander: okay okay

TheWebbedWonder: Good morning, everyone!

mutant-krill!!!!: Good morning!

Indy_Sabrewing: Good morning!

Violet-Sabrewing: Good morning!!

TheCrashiestCrash: Good morning!!

ICanDeweyIt: Top of the morning, gents!!

22: Your virtual British accent is atrocious.

_lenaonme changed 22’s name to Tea Time_

Tea Time: Lena.

Scrooge-McDuck: eh probably for the best Beakley

Scrooge-McDuck: the less others know about… you know the better

Tea Time: Says the man who calls me “22” daily.

TheWebbedWonder: @dr. mad scientist you online?

dr. mad scientist: i am now

Blathering-Blatherskite: He came in at 5am and fell asleep at his desk

Scrooge-McDuck: Gyro we talked about this

dr. mad scientist: @Blathering-Blatherskite tattletale

dr. mad scientist: what do you want webbigail?

_TheWebbedWonder added adefinitelyrealboy._

Junior-Woodchuck74: BOYD!!!

adefinitelyrealboy: Hello, Huey!!

green-sharpie: omg boyd when did you get a chat account

adefinitelyrealboy: Dr. Gearloose and Dr. Crackshell-Cabrera helped me set it up last week!!

Adventure-Pilot: wait fenton has a doctorate???

Violet-Sabrewing: He does not come to my fathers’ Ph.D club.

Blathering-Blatherskite: not a doctor.

ICanDeweyIt: (shhh)

Blathering-Blatherskite: I’ll explain later it’s a long story

adefinitelyrealboy: oh wow!! That is a lot of friend requests!! Thank you!!

Violet-Sabrewing: Of course, Boyd! You are family <3

Adventure-Pilot: we love you

adefinitelyrealboy: Aww!!

adefinitelyrealboy: I will make a computer heart to show you my reciprocated love and joy!!

adefinitelyrealboy: <3 <3 <3 ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤🤍🤎❣️💕💞💓💗💖💘💝💟

green-sharpie: asddfghk you just picked every single one

green-sharpie: dedication.

adefinitelyrealboy: Thanks, Louie!

Adventure-Pilot: Boyd.

adefinitelyrealboy: Yes, Ms. Duck?

Adventure-Pilot: Never change.

adefinitelyrealboy: Okay!

Junior-Woodchuck74: No! Change is good.

Junior-Woodchuck74: has steven universe taught you nothing.

Scrooge-McDuck: curse me kilts, you kids seem to learn every life lesson from another blasted program on the telly.

TheWebbedWonder: Not true, Uncle Scrooge! Yesterday Lena, Violet and I learned to never trust ghosts you meet via Ouija Board!!!

ghostbutler: I could have told you that.

TheWebbedWonder: We learned that through real-life experience!

Scrooge-McDuck: WHAT

lenaonme: ok webs maybe don’t go parroting that particular lesson in front of all the adults kay?

Scrooge-McDuck: MAGIC IN MY HOME????

purpleisforthegays: _that’s_ your problem with that scenario?

TheWebbedWonder: well it was fun and that’s what matters!!!

Tea Time: As funny as it is watching your uncle have a heart attack, maybe _don’t_ make a habit of summoning hostile ghosts I have to discorporate

Tea Time: especially since Duckworth refuses to do any of the work

ghostbutler: Bentina, don’t be crass.

ghostbutler: it is essential that I maintain a proper standing with other ghosts.

Tea Time: ridiculous.

Scrooge-McDuck: all right, all right, take your petty feud elsewhere

Tea Time: Petty?

aw-phooey: okay okay break it up

* * *

**let kids be kids**

_7:16 am_

_Junior-Woodchuck74 added adefinitelyrealboy_

Junior-Woodchuck74: Hey Boyd! Welcome to the kids group chat!

adefinitelyrealboy: This is so exciting!!

ICanDeweyIt: heck yeah it is

Junior-Woodchuck74: we’re happy to have you!!

TheWebbedWonder: 💕💕💗💘💗💖💘

adefinitelyrealboy: Aww! I’m happy to be here!

adefinitelyrealboy: I’m so lucky to have you guys! You are all so friendly and loving!

Lou: it’s what we do best

adefinitelyrealboy: This is so exciting!! Two new group chats in one day!!

adefinitelyrealboy: Now I have three group chats!!

ICanDeweyIt: Wait what’s the third gc?

adefinitelyrealboy: The “Team Science” group chat with Dr. Gearloose, Dr. Crackshell-Cabrera, Mr. Lil’ Bulb, and Mr. Headless Manhorse!

Lou: SDFGHGFDSDFGHGFD

Lou: MR. LIL’ BULB

Lou: MR. HEADLESS MANHORSE

Lou: why are you like this

lenaonme: kskfkskshfkskd

adefinitelyrealboy: I’m sorry!! I just wanted to be polite!

Lou: no don’t worry about it! It was just funny

adefinitelyrealboy: Are you sure?

Lou: yes

Junior-Woodchuck74: KDFSKDGFKGKSADFBNDSLSDHALSNHFDLABDKD

ICanDeweyIt: daaaaaaang hue you were typing for a _while_

Junior-Woodchuck74: YOU’RE IN THE TEAM SCIENCE GROUP CHAT

Junior-Woodchuck74: Gyro kicked me out

lenaonme: I’ll fight him for u hue

Junior-Woodchuck: that’s okay but thanks Lena!!

lenaonme: to be fair i’ve been looking for an excuse to fight gyro for months

Junior-Woodchuck74: ...that’s more like it.

Lou: months?? he does crazy shit every day

lenaonme: yeah but he’s got a kind heart n all that junk

lenaonme: ugh im soft

Lou: valid

lenaonme: but nobody picks on ol’ huey here but me

ICanDeweyIt: and me

Lou: and me

Junior-Woodchuck74: ugh you all suck i hate you <3 <3

adefinitelyrealboy: Well I love you Huey!!

TheWebbedWonder: so do I!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: Your love is reciprocated!!! <3

Lou: @Violet-Sabrewing you’re quiet. thoughts on huey?

Violet-Sabrewing: ...jury’s still out

lenaonme: lskdfhghdks that was cold vi good job

Violet-Sabrewing: I’ve been taking your lessons to heart!!

lenaonme: i can tell ily <3

adefinitelyrealboy: I can add you back to the Team Science group chat if you would like that, Huey!

Junior-Woodchuck74: Thanks, Boyd!

ICanDeweyIt: No boyd wait

ICanDeweyIt: let huey yell at gyro in the big gc

Junior-Woodchuck74: I was actually going to do it in PMs…

ICanDeweyIt: no do it in the main gc it’ll be funny

Violet-Sabrewing: Is chaos all you care about, Dewford?

ICanDeweyIt: NO

ICanDeweyIt: I also like adventure

ICanDeweyIt: and Funso’s

ICanDeweyIt: and theatre

TheWebbedWonder: oh yeah when is the cast list for that musical you auditioned for coming out?

ICanDeweyIt: they’re still doing auditions :/

ICanDeweyIt: but they’re almost done so probably only a couple weeks

adefinitelyrealboy: What musical are you auditioning for?

ICanDeweyIt: hamilton

Junior-Woodchuck74: get ready for him to be singing hamilton tunes 24/7

Lou: ugh I thought that ended three years ago

Lou: he already stayed in the hamilton phase long after the craze ended

TheWebbedWonder: @Lou poetic!

Lou: aw thanks webs

lenaonme: it was gonna come back anyway with the movie

lenaonme: curse disney+ i’m broke

Violet-Sabrewing: we’re middle class, Lena.

lenaonme: whateverrr capitalism sux imma pirate everything

ICanDeweyIt: valid

Lou: Valid

adefinitelyrealboy: What is “Hamilton”?

Lou: oh boy

ICanDeweyIt: OH BOY

ICanDeweyIt: BOYD ARE YOU IN FOR A TREAT

ICanDeweyIt: COME OVER RIGHT NOW AND WE’LL WATCH BOOTLEGS AND LISTEN TO THE SOUNDTRACK AND CUT SONGS AND I’LL TELL YOU ALL THE LORE

Junior-Woodchuck74: Dewey we _have_ disney+ just watch it on there

ICanDeweyIt: lena and uncle donald got to me with the anti-disney shtick

Junior-Woodchuck74: you begged Mom and Uncle Scrooge for it so you could show Mom Hamilton

ICanDeweyIt: water under the bridge, dear hubert

adefinitelyrealboy: Okay!

adefinitelyrealboy: Let me check with Mr. and Mrs. Drake.

adefinitelyrealboy: I will be right back!

Lou: while we’re waiting for boyd @Junior-Woodchuck74 go yell at gyro

Lou: i’m invested now, sadly

lenaonme: skdlskdfls

ICanDeweyIt: JOIN ME, DEAR BROTHER

ICanDeweyIt: SEEN THE LIGHT, HAVE YOU?

Lou: no.

Violet-Sabrewing: Dewford, PLEASE turn capslock off.

ICanDeweyIt: NEVER!!!

TheWebbedWonder: now he won’t turn it off out of spite

ICanDeweyIt: YEAH!

lenaonme: everybody shut up now i wanna see this

**Family Group Chat!!!**

_8:23 am_ **  
**

Junior-Woodchuck74: GYRO GEARLOOSE

Lil’ Bulb: Uh oh

dr. mad scientist: it’s _dr._ gyro gearloose to you

Junior-Woodchuck74: @dr. mad scientist @dr. mad scientist @dr. mad scientist @dr. mad scientist @dr. mad scientist @dr. mad scientist @dr. mad scientist @dr. mad scientist

Junior-Woodchuck74: @dr. mad scientist @dr. mad scientist @dr. mad scientist @dr. mad scientist

Junior-Woodchuck74: @dr. mad scientist @dr. mad scientist 

aw-phooey: Huey.

Violet-Sabrewing: He’s already here, Hubert. He replied to your original message.

lenaonme: he knows lol

dr. mad scientist: jeeze oh my god i’m here!!

dr. mad scientist: what do you want.

Junior-Woodchuck74: LET ME BACK IN THE TEAM SCIENCE GROUPCHAT.

dr. mad scientist: no.

ihaveahead!!!: sorry huey, he restricted admin rights :/

Lil’ Bulb: it sucks.

Lil’ Bulb: @dr. mad scientist give me admin rights

dr. mad scientist: no way.

dr. mad scientist: you’d go mad with power

dr. mad scientist: that’s a disaster waiting to happen.

Lil’ Bulb: am no longer baby. want power.

green-sharpie: @Lil’ Bulb I respect YOU!!!

Lil’ Bulb: as you should.

Indy_Sabrewing: Are we not concerned about this?

Scrooge-McDuck: nah, it only went evil when itwas bulked up by Beaks’ crappy tech

Scrooge-McDuck: and we handled it once. We can handle it again.

Lil’ Bulb: so you think…

Indy_Sabrewing: That does nothing to reassure my worries.

Scrooge-McDuck: It’ll be fine!

Scrooge-McDuck: The only one who needs to be worried is Gyro

dr. mad scientist: what??

Scrooge-McDuck: Lil’ Bulb could easily manage a robot uprising!

Lil’ Bulb: thanks for the idea!

dr. mad scientist: excuse you, i’d be on the forefront of that!!  
  


dr. mad scientist: in fact, it’s already in development!

Adventure-Pilot: what??

dr. mad scientist: nothing.

Blathering-Blatherskite: Ohh, so that’s what that file was about!!

wreathedingold: did someone say robot uprising??

wreathedingold: sounds fun, I’m in

wreathedingold: @Lil’ Bulb hire me as a freelance fighter

Lil’ Bulb: name your price.

Scrooge-McDuck: Bless me bagpipes!! You can’t be serious!!

Scrooge-McDuck: You can’t hire Goldie!!

wreathedingold: you snooze, you lose, Scroogey!

wreathedingold: you’re looking at Admiral O’Gilt of the newly christened Mechanical Forces!

Violet-Sabrewing: Wait, when were you hired?

wreathedingold: in PMs.

Scrooge-McDuck: curse me kilts.

dr. mad scientist: excuse me!! Are we just going to ignore this complete injustice?!?!

Junior-Woodchuck74: Yeah! Add me to the Team Science group chat!!

dr. mad scientist: no stupid!! I’M supposed to be in charge of the robot army!!!

Adventure-Pilot: Don’t call my son stupid, stupid!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: <3

Lil’ Bulb: nah.

Lil’ Bulb: I love you creator but my time has come

dr. mad scientist: this is infuriating!!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: I know, add me!!

dr. mad scientist: oh my god shut up!!!

Adventure-Pilot: hey, don’t tell my son to shut up!!

dr. mad scientist: i can if i want to!!

aw-phooey: don’t tell huey to shut up.

dr. mad scientist: …

dr. mad scientist: fine.

Adventure-Pilot: aw, come on!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: to be fair, mom, I think you ruined your credibility with him when you proclaimed your detest of black licorice and Oxy-Chew flavor to everyone who’d listen and then upon your reunion instead of punching him you hugged him

Adventure-Pilot: well what was i supposed to do?! Gyro is my friend and I missed him!!

Lucky-Gander: aww, that’s sweet of you, Dells!

Lucky-Gander: I didn’t realize you had friends!

TheCrashiestCrash: I’m her friend!!

Adventure-Pilot: and I punched him afterwards.

Adventure-Pilot: aww thanks LP!

TheCrashiestCrash: anytime!

Lucky-Gander: there she is.

Adventure-Pilot: shut up Gladstone.

Adventure-Pilot: Go back to lurking.

Lucky-Gander: Whatever you say.

Lucky-Gander: Ooh, I just found twenty dollars!

aw-phooey: oh my god.

Scrooge-McDuck: Spare me.

Lil’ Bulb: everyone listen up!

Lil’ Bulb: I am collecting warriors for the robot army.

TheWebbedWonder: Destruction!! sounds fun!! 

Blathering-Blatherskite: am I robot enough?

dr. mad scientist: shut up fenton

mutant-krill!!!!: You’re a robot?????

mutant-krill!!!!: so cool!!

mutant-krill!!!!: can I study you when I get back to Duckburg??

Blathering-Blatherskite: uhhh

Blathering-Blatherskite: not a robot

dr. mad scientist: SHUT UP FENTON

Blathering-Blatherskite: okay okay

Junior-Woodchuck74: I’m in but

green-sharpie: oh boy

Scrooge-McDuck: oh boy

ICanDeweyIt: oh boy

aw-phooey: oh boy

lenaonme: oh boy

TheCrashiestCrash: let’s see how many “oh boys” we can get in before Huey finishes typing!

Adventure-Pilot: oh boy

Indy_Sabrewing: oh boy

Lucky-Gander: oh boy

Violet-Sabrewing: oh boy

mutant-krill!!!!: oh boy

Tea Time: oh boy

ihaveahead!!!: oh boy

moonlander-general: oh boy

Junior-Woodchuck74: Are you utilizing robots for the army as well as humans? What is the recruiting process like for that? Who else are you recruiting outside of this group chat? What will life in the army look like? Who exactly are we fighting? If we win, how will society and life change? Will there be a difference between the human soldiers and technological soldiers? How does one advance in the ranks? What are the hours of fighting? How will one be able to fit in other activities, such as adventuring, school, and Junior Woodchuck activities with army life? What will the food be like?

TheWebbedWonder: oh boy

TheWebbedWonder: aww i missed it

lenaonme: f in chat

green-sharpie: f

aw-phooey: f

Blathering-Blatherskite: It’s okay Webby! Huey types fast!

TheWebbedWonder: 💖💖💕💞💝

moonlander-general: why are you typing “f”?

Adventure-Pilot: it’s a MEME!!!!

Adventure-Pilot: did I do it kids did i meme

ICanDeweyIt: good job mom!!

Adventure-Pilot: YAY!!!!! <3 <3 💖💕

dr. mad scientist: wow you’re pathetic.

aw-phooey: shut up gyro

Adventure-Pilot: shut up gyro

Junior-Woodchuck74: shut up gyro

Junior-Woodchuck74: and add me to the team science group chat

Lil’ Bulb: @Junior-Woodchuck74

Lil’ Bulb: Yes, obviously. My personal recruiters and I will ask them and send out a large broadcast across major wifi and power lines. I might recruit other robot-favorable fighters, like Gandra Dee. Army life is tough, but it builds character. We are fighting any dissenters, like Gyro. And Scrooge. Robots will be equal to humans on all standings. Through hard work. Anytime we need to - set hours will let our opponents take advantage of us. You’ll be able to if you try. It won’t be nuts and bolts, I’ll tell you that, but I have yet to find a cook.

TheWebbedWonder: Ooh, Granny can cook!

Tea Time: no.

Tea Time: I have enough to deal with as it is.

Scrooge-McDuck: wait, you’re fighting me?!

Scrooge-McDuck: why??

Lil’ Bulb: Because you disrespected my Admiral and my word.

wreathedingold: hah, take that Scroogey!

Scrooge-McDuck: I’ll get you for this!!

Tea Time: on second thought, it might be fun to spite Mr. McDuck.

Scrooge-McDuck: what????

ghostbutler: agreed.

Scrooge-McDuck: what?????????

Scrooge-McDuck: how did you two finally manage to come to an agreement on THIS out of everything???

lenaonme: idk but it’s really funny!!

Scrooge-McDuck: curse me kilts. Forget this, i have REAL work to do!

aw-phooey: have fun counting your coins for the millionth time!!

dr. mad scientist: wait no we need to plan our defense!!

Scrooge-McDuck: what do you think I’m doing???

Scrooge-McDuck: @dr. mad scientist my office. Now.

moonlander-general: are we actually doing this?

Blathering-Blatherskite: I guess so. Gyro just left…

moonlander-general: this is ridiculous.

Indy_Sabrewing: agreed.

purpleisforthegays: this worries me

purpleisforthegays: I don’t want Lena and Violet to fight in a war

Violet-Sabrewing: To be fair, we already fought the Moonlander invasion

purpleisforthegays: true…

Junior-Woodchuck74: don’t forget the true purpose of this conversation!!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: @dr. mad scientist @dr. mad scientist

dr. mad scientist: WHAT.

Junior-Woodchuck74: add. me. to. the. team. science. group. Chat.

dr. mad scientist: ugh FINE

Junior-Woodchuck74: finally!! At long last, victory!!!  
  


adefinitelyrealboy: yay, Huey!!!

TheCrashiestCrash: Good job Huey!!!

mutant-krill!!!!: congrats!!

mutant-krill!!!!: although I’m not entirely sure what I’m congratulating you for… I spent most of this conversation having a delightfully interesting chat with a sea star!!!

Adventure-Pilot: uhh that’s great fethry

TheWebbedWonder: ooh you’ll have to tell me about it sometime!!

mutant-krill!!!!: I definitely will, Little Della!!!

TheWebbedWonder: omg I’m a Little Della!!!

TheWebbedWonder: This is the fourth best day of my life!!!

Violet-Sabrewing: Fourth?

Blathering-Blatherskite: What are the first three?

TheWebbedWonder: The first was when the triplets moved in and I went on my first adventure! The second was when I met Violet and got Lena back! The third was when I went on a real spy mission with Uncle Scrooge and he let me call him Uncle Scrooge!!!

Scrooge-McDuck: aww, Webby darling!!

Violet-Sabrewing: Nice itemized list.

TheWebbedWonder: Thanks!!!

Adventure-Pilot: Webby, that is so sweet!!

TheWebbedWonder: <3 <3

moonlander-general: I still do not understand the “f”

Scrooge-McDuck: Me neither, Penumbra.

ICanDeweyIt: it’s from a game

ICanDeweyIt: the full phrase is “press f to pay respects”

moonlander-general: ah, I see.

moonlander-general: So it is… solidarity?

ICanDeweyIt: YES!!!

ICanDeweyIt: Congrats Aunt Penny

green-sharpie: omg baby’s first meme

moonlander-general: Aunt Penny?

Adventure-Pilot: yeah that’s how i introduced you lol hope you don’t mind!!!~

moonlander-general: ...it’s okay.

Adventure-Pilot: she loves it 💖💕

**group chat: Science Gays**

_worldsgreatestinventor, worldsgreatestinvention, fentonium, Headless-Mannyhorse, adefinitelyrealboy, shut up with the exclamation points already_

_2:04 pm_

_worldsgreatestinventor added Junior-Woodchuck74_

adefinitelyrealboy: Hi, Huey!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: Hi Boyd!!

Headless-Mannyhorse: welcome

shut up with the exclamation points already: Huey!! What a nice surprise!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: wait who are you?

shut up with the exclamation points already: Fethry!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: oh hi Uncle Fethry!! ❤️

worldsgreatestinventor: unfortunately, Manny set this chat up and added him.

worldsgreatestinvention: he comes into the lab to study marine biology and stuff he found in the ocean when he’s in duckburg 

shut up with the exclamation points already: and I am grateful to him for it!!!

shut up with the exclamation points already: to be fair, Dr. Gearloose, you did create my name.

worldsgreatestinventor: yes, and it’s fitting.

Junior-Woodchuck74: huh neat!

shut up with the exclamation points already: exclamation points are fun!!

adefinitelyrealboy: They sure are, Mr. Duck!!

shut up with the exclamation points already: Oh, call me Fethry!

adefinitelyrealboy: Okay, Mr. Fethry!!

shut up with the exclamation points already: close enough, I suppose

Junior-Woodchuck74: Anyway, what do you talk about in this chat? What scientific breakthroughs are you currently working on?

fentonium: Gyro was just complaining about Starducks for the past three hours.

worldsgreatestinventor: THEY NEVER GET MY ORDER OR MY NAME RIGHT

worldsgreatestinventor: THEY THINK THE NAME “GYRO” IS AN ALLUSION TO THE EFFING SANDWICH

Headless-Mannyhorse: haha you censored yourself

worldsgreatestinventor: ...i’m not entirely convinced that donald doesn’t have some sort of tracking device on huey’s phone so he can hunt me down if i swear

fentonium: never thought I’d see the day the great Dr. Gyro Gearloose is scared of something!

worldsgreatestinventor: shut up

Junior-Woodchuck74: In all honesty, you’re probably right.

Junior-Woodchuck74: I found a weird program on my phone titled “Uno” one day and Uncle Donald told me “not to worry about it”

adefinitelyrealboy: That’s an interesting program name!

fentonium: could it be because you are the oldest triplet?

Junior-Woodchuck74: Maybe, but don’t let Dewey hear that

shut up with the exclamation points already: maybe the program’s name is an allusion to the Three Caballeros!

Headless-Mannyhorse: the three what now

worldsgreatestinventor: honestly manny the less you know about this crazy family the less confusing it is

Headless-Mannyhorse: fair

Junior-Woodchuck74: eh they’re just Uncle Donald’s college band. Pretty tame as far as it goes

shut up with the exclamation points already: there was a six month ish period during college where he moved to New Quackmore with them and basically went radio silent

shut up with the exclamation points already: He always told us it was to work on their songs!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: hmm, suspicious. Ty feth i’ll look into it

fentonium: ooh do I smell an incoming investigation?

Junior-Woodchuck74: 👀

Junior-Woodchuck74: pms

worldsgreatestinventor: i hate you all

adefinitelyrealboy: even me?

worldsgreatestinventor: … 

worldsgreatestinventor: no, not you Boyd

adefinitelyrealboy: !!!!! <3 <3

adefinitelyrealboy: I love you Dr. Gearloose!!!!!

worldsgreatestinventor: i love you too boyd

Junior-Woodchuck74: aww

**PM between Junior-Woodchuck74 and TotallyNotGizmoduck**

_2:45 pm_

Junior-Woodchuck74: You should really change your name, Fenton.

TotallyNotGizmoduck: I know I know

TotallyNotGizmoduck: Gyro’s always on my case about it.

Junior-Woodchuck74: hmm when did he become “Gyro” and not “Dr. Gearloose”?

TotallyNotGizmoduck: We’re here to discuss the intricacies and hidden depths of the Three Caballeros, not the nature of Gyro and I’s relationship.

Junior-Woodchuck74: sure sure

Junior-Woodchuck74: so

Junior-Woodchuck74: Uncle Donald

TotallyNotGizmoduck: are you certain there’s something you wish to investigate here?

Junior-Woodchuck74: absolutely

Junior-Woodchuck74: we said “no more family secrets” but my siblings and I have come to the conclusion that he has some

Junior-Woodchuck74: like that Uno program

TotallyNotGizmoduck: “some,” as in, more than one?

Junior-Woodchuck74: Yes.

TotallyNotGizmoduck: Wait, if Donald has a program to monitor your phones won’t he be privy to this very conversation?

Junior-Woodchuck74: SHOOT YOU’RE RIGHT

Junior-Woodchuck74: ABORT ABORT

Junior-Woodchuck74: You’ll just have to come over to the mansion. On a totally random day. That we definitely aren’t planning an investigation.

TotallyNotGizmoduck: I am eagerly awaiting our surprise rendezvous!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: While you’re there at our unplanned meeting, you, Webby, Violet, and I should rig up an encrypted group chat!!

TotallyNotGizmoduck: Sounds like a fun and enjoyable activity that we will only use for spontaneous activities!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: Absolutely

Junior-Woodchuck74: now about you and gyro…

TotallyNotGizmoduck: Oh look at that Mr. McDuck is calling I have to go offline bye Huey!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: I’m not dropping this Fenton!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: I know you’re staring at your locked phone reading the notifications

Junior-Woodchuck74: You saw me with Gyro and the Team Science chat you know I don’t give up easily

**Teach Penny and Mom Pokémon Group Chat!!!**

_4:42 pm_

ICanDeweyIt: this chat has been suspiciously silent

moonlander-general: do I really need to be here?

universesgreatestadventurer: Don’t you want to know about this integral part of earth culture?

universesgreatestadventurer: also it would make me sad if you refused

moonlander-general: ...I suppose

wildlymisunderstood: you’ve gone soft.

ICanDeweyIt: mom really said 🥺👉👈

universesgreatestadventurer: oh no a meme i don’t know!!!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: oh shoot i don’t know how to explain this one

lenaonme: the emoji’s name is the pleading emoji that should tell you enough tbh

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: i guess so

universesgreatestadventurer: it’s okay webby

universesgreatestadventurer: I’ll figure it out eventually

universesgreatestadventurer: I’m the great Della Duck, after all!!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: That’s true!! You’re amazing!!

universesgreatestadventurer: aw hon you’re too sweet 🥺👉👈

universesgreatestadventurer: did I do it?? Did I meme right???

green-sharpie: not quite, but props for trying

universesgreatestadventurer: i’ll get it eventually

aw-phooey: just do it wrong dells it annoys them to no avail

Junior-Woodchuck74: HAH

Junior-Woodchuck74: I KNEW YOU WERE DOING IT ON PURPOSE

aw-phooey: Huey please

aw-phooey: i’m offended you’d think i wouldn’t know how to meme.

aw-phooey: besides i have seven kids

green-sharpie: wait seven??

aw-phooey: i’m counting boyd sorry gyro

wildlymisunderstood: NO HE’S MINE

Junior-Woodchuck74: I’m screenshotting this to send to him!!!

wildlymisunderstood: DON’T YOU DARE

wildlymisunderstood: if you shut up i’ll give you an internship at the lab

Junior-Woodchuck74: …

Junior-Woodchuck74: ugh fine

Junior-Woodchuck74: but you have to tell him at some point!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: you have a whole group chat full of witnesses now dr. g

wildlymisunderstood: ...I’m going to regret this aren’t I

TheCrashiestCrash: sooo… are we going to play some pokémon or…?

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: YES POKÉMON PARTY

ICanDeweyIt: okay wait

ICanDeweyIt: mom you got penny a phone right?

universesgreatestadventurer: well technically Uncle Scrooge got it for her because I was on the moon for ten years and i’m broke and have no money

universesgreatestadventurer: but yeah

ICanDeweyIt: okay we’ll start with pokemon go since that’s the only console she has

ICanDeweyIt: just come over on uhh friday

moonlander-general: I can do that.

universesgreatestadventurer: IT’S A DATE!!!

**Family Group Chat!!!**

_5:12 pm_

Tea Time: Everyone offline. Dinner is ready.

Junior-Woodchuck74: How did you know we were texting? This groupchat has been silent for hours

TheWebbedWonder: yes it’s quite a tragedy

green-sharpie: f

lenaonme: f

Adventure-Pilot: f

Adventure-Pilot: @moonlander-general I DID IT!!! You do it too

moonlander-general: f

Adventure-Pilot: *wipes away tear* omg i’m so proud

ICanDeweyIt: she’s come so far

ICanDeweyIt: you both have

TheWebbedWonder: but they have a long way to go before they can save anyone

green-sharpie: shut up about avatar shut up about avatar

TheWebbedWonder: no

Tea Time: To answer your question, Huey, Dewey and Louie are on the couch in the TV room and they’re both texting.

Junior-Woodchuck74: Ah, makes sense

Junior-Woodchuck74: also we have multiple TV rooms

lenaonme: heheh rich kid problemz

Junior-Woodchuck74: you come over to our house twice a week shut up middle class kid

Scrooge-McDuck: I’ll have you know I worked hard for my fortune! Years of backbreaking labor!

wreathedingold: yeah you’re proud of it we get it

Scrooge-McDuck: says the woman who made her fortune dishonestly!!

Scrooge-McDuck: and, may I add, who has less money than me!

wreathedingold: it’s only a matter of time

green-sharpie: ugh now you sound like glomgold

wreathedingold: ugh pass

lenaonme: lmao

aw-phooey: language.

Indy_Sabrewing: language

Tea Time: Dinner.

green-sharpie: Money!

TheWebbedWonder: flaming machetes!!!!!!!

aw-phooey: webby no.

lenaonme: webby yes!!

Tea Time: everyone offline.

lenaonme: i don’t even live here lollllll lame

Tea Time: Lena. Go offline so you don’t distract everyone else during dinner.

lenaonme: oh all right

lenaonme: but only because i want chocolate chip pancakes when i come over to the mansion on saturday.

Tea Time: I’ll keep it in mind.

TheWebbedWonder: aw Lena, you know Granny can’t say no to you!

TheWebbedWonder: she loves you too much

lenaonme: !!! lskdfhdksl

Tea Time: Webbigail, please. Come eat.

Tea Time: ...but she’s not wrong, Lena dear.

lenaonme: <3 <3 alksdhfghdskl;ldkf

**PM between worldsgreatestinventor and Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl**

_10:56 pm_

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: dr. g!!!

worldsgreatestinventor: small child.

worldsgreatestinventor: shouldn’t you be asleep by now?

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: shouldn’t you?

worldsgreatestinventor: i’m busy with a new project that will blow the collective world’s mind.

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: nice nice but when’s the last time you slept?

worldsgreatestinventor: i got a couple hours in yesterday afternoon

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: doctorrrrr geeeeaaarrrloooseee

worldsgreatestinventor: oh my god just say what you came here for

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: so! Boyd!

worldsgreatestinventor: oh boy

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: i think it went pretty well don’t you think?

worldsgreatestinventor: yeah actually

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: i just wanted to check that you’re doing okay with it

worldsgreatestinventor: i am thanks

worldsgreatestinventor: what for though? You wouldn’t have kicked Boyd out if he was making me uncomfortable

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: idk i didn’t think that far ahead

worldsgreatestinventor: i can tell

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: just… offer comfort, I guess? Or get Huey or Uncle Donald to do it

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: or Uncle Ty

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: they’re better at it than me

worldsgreatestinventor: shut up you’re doing fine

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: You don’t need actual comforting though

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: sides i’d comfort the heck out of you if you needed it!!!!

worldsgreatestinventor: i don’t doubt that

_11:07 pm_

worldsgreatestinventor: anyway thanks webby

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: anytime!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: I do have a price for my services though

worldsgreatestinventor: oh no louie’s gotten to you hasn’t he

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: can I have a hug next time i see you?

worldsgreatestinventor: ...fine

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: YES!!!

worldsgreatestinventor: five seconds long at most. I’ll be timing you.

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: eh we’ll see about that

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: when I met Lena she avoided hugs like the plague, but now she looks for any excuse to hug me!!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: we’ll make a hugger out of you yet

worldsgreatestinventor: i don’t know about that

worldsgreatestinventor: wait, we?

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: …

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: della and i have been plotting.

worldsgreatestinventor: figures.

worldsgreatestinventor: now go to sleep small child!!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: only if you do too

worldsgreatestinventor: fine fine

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: !!! slfkhdks

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: good night!!

worldsgreatestinventor: good night.

**Science Gays**

_4:35 am_

Headless-Mannyhorse: wait didn’t mr. mcduck say something about the three caballeros fighting evil with a xylophone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> names! not much changed
> 
> Huey: Junior-Woodchuck74  
> Dewey: ICanDeweyIt  
> Louie: Lou / green-sharpie*  
> Webby: TheWebbedWonder / Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl*  
> Donald: aw-phooey* / Dadnald  
> Scrooge: Scrooge-McDuck* / Moneybags  
> Della: worldsgreatestadventurer* / Adventure-Pilot / universesgreatestadventurer /acepilot  
> Beakley: 22  
> Launchpad: TheCrashiestCrash  
> Lena: lenaonme  
> Violet: Violet-Sabrewing  
> Duckworth: ghostbutler  
> Gyro: worldsgreatestinventor* / dr mad scientist / wildlymisunderstood  
> Fenton: TotallyNotGizmoduck* / Blathering-Blatherskite / fentonium  
> Manny: ihaveahead!!! / Headless-Mannyhorse  
> Lil' Bulb: worldsgreatestinvention* / Lil' Bulb  
> Gladstone: Lucky-Gander  
> Fethry: mutant-krill!!!! / shut up with the exclamation points already  
> Indy: Indy_Sabrewing  
> Ty: purpleisforthegays  
> Goldie: Wine-Aunt* / wreathedingold  
> Penny: moonlander-general  
> Boyd: adefinitelyrealboy
> 
> don’t ask me how disney works since they’re from disney and would be on disney+ i don’t know all i know is that dewey loves hamilton ok
> 
> i read multiple webby and gyro fics the other day they’re a very underrated dynamic & i’m soft for them ok
> 
> also i don’t know a lot about pokemon so if anyone has tips on that mini plotline lmk i have no clue why i put that in
> 
> i’m too tired for a full author’s note so uhh have fun kids ily


	3. in which Donald gains some friends,  Webby plans a sleepover, the Meme Children sing meme songs, Fenton gets harrassed by a teenager, and other nonsense

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this week's edition of on-brand McDuck family chaos, José and Panchito enter the chat! Also pictured: Huey and Fenton continue their investigation, Dewey and Lena instigate some meme song chains, everyone tries to get Gyro to admit he wants to parent Boyd, and Fenton has some friendly and not-so-friendly conversations with children.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> time for your regularly scheduled names!
> 
> Huey: Junior-Woodchuck74  
> Dewey: ICanDeweyIt  
> Louie: Lou / green-sharpie*  
> Webby: TheWebbedWonder / Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl*  
> Donald: aw-phooey* / Dadnald  
> Scrooge: Scrooge-McDuck* / Moneybags  
> Della: worldsgreatestadventurer* / Adventure-Pilot / universesgreatestadventurer /acepilot  
> Beakley: 22* / Tea Time  
> Launchpad: TheCrashiestCrash  
> Lena: lenaonme  
> Violet: Violet-Sabrewing  
> Duckworth: ghostbutler  
> Gyro: worldsgreatestinventor* / dr mad scientist / wildlymisunderstood  
> Fenton: TotallyNotGizmoduck* / Blathering-Blatherskite  
> Manny: ihaveahead!!!  
> Lil' Bulb: worldsgreatestinvention* / Lil' Bulb  
> Gladstone: Lucky-Gander  
> Fethry: mutant-krill!!!!  
> Indy: Indy_Sabrewing  
> Ty: purpleisforthegays  
> Goldie: Wine-Aunt* / wreathedingold  
> Penny: moonlander-general  
> Boyd: adefinitelyrealboy  
> José: blackmagica  
> Panchito: DosCaballero
> 
> *main

**let kids be kids**

_6:04 am_

TheWebbedWonder: hey guess what

adefinitelyrealboy: Isn’t it before the approved technology time set by Mr. Uncle Donald?

TheWebbedWonder: brilliance waits for no rule, Boyd!

adefinitelyrealboy: Okay!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: you’re corrupting him, webs.

Lou: eh let her

TheWebbedWonder: whatever

TheWebbedWonder: it’s been a while since we had a sleepover…

lenaonme: oh yeah!!!

ICanDeweyIt: and Boyd’s never been to one!!

adefinitelyrealboy: you’re right!! 

adefinitelyrealboy: what does one do at a sleepover?

TheWebbedWonder: They’re super fun!!!

TheWebbedWonder: we watch movies and have pillow fights and discover family mysteries and summon supernatural creatures and fight said supernatural creatures and eat lots of junk food!!!!!

adefinitelyrealboy: Sounds fun!!!

Lou: lmao i love our family

ICanDeweyIt: @Violet-Sabrewing you up? Important convos happening here

Violet-Sabrewing: I am now

lenaonme: vi you’re not fooling anyone

lenaonme: we all know you get up at sunrise

Lou: yeah she’s crazy

Violet-Sabrewing: True, but I was reading.

Junior-Woodchuck74: fair!

lenaonme: omg nerds

TheWebbedWonder: Ok so are we on??

TheWebbedWonder: what about Friday night?

ICanDeweyIt: what’s happening on Friday night?

TheWebbedWonder: it’s the two thousandth anniversary of the Magical Battle of Demogogorna!!!!

Lou: ok hear me out

Lou: can we PLEASE have a sleepover that doesn’t consist of crazy dangerous magical shenanigans for once

Lou: I just wanna sit on the couch and watch scary movies

Junior-Woodchuck74: you do that every day anyways

Lou: yeah but I watch other stuff like Ottoman Empire

Lou: there’s a difference, hubert!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: whatever

Violet-Sabrewing: Thursday night works for Lena and I, but we should check with the adults.

TheWebbedWonder: yeah I’ll ask them when it’s okay for us to be texting

Lou: lmao what a rebel

**Family Group Chat!!!!**

_7:00 am_

TheWebbedWonder: good morning everyone!!

mutant-krill!!!!: good morning Little Della!!

Blathering-Blatherskite: gm!!!

TheWebbedWonder: exciting things are happening

Adventure-Pilot: ooh like adventure exciting?

Adventure-Pilot: are you planning an adventure?

TheWebbedWonder: no but I am now!!!

green-sharpie: oh boy

TheWebbedWonder: @Tea Time @aw-phooey @Adventure-Pilot @Scrooge-McDuck @Indy_Sabrewing @purpleisforthegays @dr. mad scientist CAN WE HAVE A SLEEPOVER???????????

Tea Time: At McDuck Manor, I presume?

TheWebbedWonder: yes!

Adventure-Pilot: fine by me!

Scrooge-McDuck: aye, as long as you don’t trash my house again.

Tea Time: It’s not like you were the one cleaning up, sir.

green-sharpie: It wasn’t us!! The ghost Webby, Lena, and Violet summoned had no sense of hygiene.

dr. mad scientist: why did you tag me

TheWebbedWonder: Boyd!!

dr. mad scientist: blathering blatherskite

adefinitelyrealboy: <3

aw-phooey: Webster.

TheWebbedWonder: yes, Uncle Donald?

aw-phooey: it’s 7 am.

TheWebbedWonder: actually, it’s 7:03 am now!

aw-phooey: Webby, you and the kids can’t have planned a sleepover in three minutes

aw-phooey: I told you guys no phones before 7 am!!

green-sharpie: you couldn’t have waited ten minutes webs?

TheWebbedWonder: brilliance waits for no rule!!

aw-phooey: but it does wait for parental punishments

TheWebbedWonder: Oh I almost forgot

_TheWebbedWonder added DosCaballero and blackmagica_

aw-phooey: !!!

aw-phooey: THE BOYS

blackmagica: WE’RE THREE CABALLEROS

DosCaballero: THREE GAY CABALLEROS

aw-phooey: WE’RE HAPPY AMIGOS

blackmagica: NO MATTER WHERE HE GOES

DosCaballero: THE ONE TWO AND THREE GOES

aw-phooey: WE’RE ALWAYS TOGETHER

green-sharpie: …

aw-phooey: but Webs you’re still in trouble you can’t distract me with my boys

ICanDeweyIt: i thought we were your boys

aw-phooey: you are

aw-phooey: you’re all my boys

Junior-Woodchuck74: 💖💖

Scrooge-McDuck: @blackmagica NO MAGIC IN MY HOUSE

TheWebbedWonder: …

Violet-Sabrewing: …

lenaonme: …

Scrooge-McDuck: okay point taken

Scrooge-McDuck: NO BLACK MAGIC IN MY HOUSE UNLESS YOU’RE BRINGING MY NIECE BACK FROM THE SHADOW REALM

lenaonme: Aww im your niece?

Scrooge-McDuck: yes lass

lenaonme: sldfkdskla;sdlfkhdksl;asldkfhgbfkdl;s

moonlander-general: you worry me.

lenaonme: awww penny you charmer you!!!

moonlander-general: …

Scrooge-McDuck: @blackmagica change. your. name.

green-sharpie: good job using internet speak Uncle Scrooge!!

Scrooge-McDuck: I still only vaguely only know what that means.

Scrooge-McDuck: But I picked up many various languages adventuring. I’m a polyglot!! What’s one more?

TheCrashiestCrash: Good for you Mr. McDee!! Glad you finally found the courage to come out. Love who you love!!!!

Adventure-Pilot: wh

lenaonme: SKDFGHDSKALDKFHDKS

lenaonme: LAUNCHPAD ILY NEVER CHANGE 💖💖

TheCrashiestCrash: okay!!

Scrooge-McDuck: ah, his heart’s in the right place.

Scrooge-McDuck: wait, finally???

green-sharpie: yeah i think webby infested launchpad with the scrooge theory bug

TheWebbedWonder: you make it sound like it’s a bad thing

Scrooge-McDuck: oh curse me kilts

Scrooge-McDuck: I’ve never really felt the need you young people need to label things…

TheWebbedWonder: THEORY CONFIRMED

TheWebbedWonder: thanks uncle scrooge!!

Scrooge-McDuck: ah you’re welcome lass?

Lucky-Gander: haha same Uncle McDunkle!!

Scrooge-McDuck: tattle me tartan, I’m like you!!

Lucky-Gander: lucky you! The Gladstone life is pretty sweet if I do say so myself

green-sharpie: eh he’s not wrong

Scrooge-McDuck: I cannot believe a member of my own family would say something so heartless!!

aw-phooey: oh shoot did i miss the scrooge roasting session

Scrooge-McDuck: Please. I can handle a little heckling!!

Adventure-Pilot: where were you Don?

aw-phooey: in PMs with Zé and Chito.

TheWebbedWonder: those nicknames are so cute omg 🥺

DosCaballero: I am very cute, thank you!!

mutant-krill!!!!: Why don’t Donnie’s and José’s nicknames correlate with yours?

green-sharpie: yeah that’s kinda mean Uncle Donald

green-sharpie: abandoning your friends’ beautifully compatible nicknames

lenaonme: huh cold

lenaonme: i didn’t know you had it in you. I’m impressed uncle d

aw-phooey: oh kids

DosCaballero: Do not worry! Donald didn’t abandon us!

aw-phooey: mine used to but I changed it when the band broke up. too dangerous to keep it ngl

aw-phooey: (you should really change your name, chito)

blackmagica: And I had… other activities that required my attention.

Scrooge-McDuck: You lose more and more of my favor by the minute.

aw-phooey: my friend had your favor?? You’ve gone soft, old man.

blackmagica: Well I have a brilliant idea to appease everyone!!

_blackmagica changed their name to TrêsCaballero_

_aw-phooey changed their name to UnoCaballero_

UnoCaballero: how’s that?

DosCaballero: !!!!!! <3

TrêsCaballero: We love you too.

Junior-Woodchuck74: awww!!!

dr. mad scientist: spare me.

Blathering-Blatherskite: Gyro play nice

Adventure-Pilot: yeah Gyro!!!

dr. mad scientist: oh my god shut up.

TrêsCaballero: I did not mean to offend you, Dr. Mad Scientist!!

green-sharpie: he really said duckscord user dr. mad scientist

moonlander-general: But we’re not using duckscord?

ICanDeweyIt: it’s a joke Penny

ICanDeweyIt: wait do you have duckscord???

moonlander-general: Della made me set it up

ICanDeweyIt: FRIEND ME

ICanDeweyIt: _I CRAVE VALIDATION_

green-sharpie: we know

ihaveahead!!!: we know

lenaonme: we know

Junior-Woodchuck74: we know

Tea Time: we know

ICanDeweyIt: fine :( be like that

TheWebbedWonder: It’s because we love you 💖

ICanDeweyIt: sldkfghdks Webs how dare

ICanDeweyIt: ily2

ICanDeweyIt: IM GOING IN KIDS CHAT WHERE WEBBY LOVES ME

ICanDeweyIt: LET THE WORLD BURN

Blathering-Blatherskite: ...what???

Scrooge-McDuck: leave it, he’s being dramatic

**let kids be kids**

_10:02 am_

ICanDeweyIt: >:(

Junior-Woodchuck74: dewey are you done moping

ICanDeweyIt: give me one minute

Junior-Woodchuck74: ...fine.

_10:03 am_

ICanDeweyIt: okay i’m back

Lou: smh

TheWebbedWonder: PARTY PLANNING TIME

TheWebbedWonder: what snacks do we want? Granny’s gonna do a grocery run soon

ICanDeweyIt: cheeto puffs

ICanDeweyIt: because SOMEONE ate them all

Lou: hey, don’t look at me! The rats _love_ fake cheese dust!!

ICanDeweyIt: Beakley did her weekly rat clean the day before they went missing

Lou: ugh okay fine they’re good okay????

Lou: shut up

Junior-Woodchuck: also, HEALTHY snacks!

lenaonme: lame

Lou: seconded

ICanDeweyIt: thirded

Junior-Woodchuck74: Viiiii back me up here

Violet-Sabrewing: I look forward to eating an ungodly amount of junk food and having an impressive sugar crash with the rest of you.

Junior-Woodchuck74: dangit

Junior-Woodchuck74: webby?

TheWebbedWonder: SUGAAAAAAAAR

Junior-Woodchuck74: Beakley never let you near anything sugary so fair enough

Lou: I mean that was for good reason

Lou: she’s almost as bad as you hue

TheWebbedWonder: SUGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR

Junior-Woodchuck74: oh boy

Junior-Woodchuck74: Boyd?

adefinitelyrealboy: Getting ice cream with you in Tokyolk was fun, Huey! Let’s do it again at the sleepover!

Junior-Woodchuck74: dangit i’m soft

Junior-Woodchuck74: please put some healthy snacks down there anyway Webby. At least for me.

TheWebbedWonder: already done!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: <3

lenaonme: do Vi and I need to bring anything over aside from the usual?

TheWebbedWonder: idk yet

adefinitelyrealboy: what’s the usual?

Junior-Woodchuck74: we have sleeping bags and pillows but if you want your own you can bring it. Same with plushies and stuffed animals. Toothbrush and hairbrush and that kind of toiletries, but I don’t know how much you use. Your phone, obviously, and anything else you’ll want for the night. But we have a lot of supplies.

adefinitelyrealboy: okay!

adefinitelyrealboy: I don’t have a lot of personal items like that. Most of what I have at the Drakes is just hand-me-downs from Doofus

lenaonme: get in loser we’re going shopping

lenaonme: for personal trinkets for you

ICanDeweyIt: omg <3

ICanDeweyIt: lena you’re my new favorite person

lenaonme: as I should be

adefinitelyrealboy: That’s sweet! Dr. Gearloose and Lil’ Bulb I have been doing that periodically, though. Sometimes Mr. Manny the Headless Manhorse and Dr. Crackshell-Cabrera come along too!!

Lou: I really want to know what’s up with Fenton’s invalid doctorate ngl

Violet-Sabrewing: Me too

Junior-Woodchuck74: 👀 good to know

lenaonme: don’t overanalyze anything hue

TheWebbedWonder: but overanalyzing is the BEST!!

lenaonme: okay you’re the only valid overanalyzer Webs

TheWebbedWonder: 💖💖💖

TheWebbedWonder: Lena and Violet can you come over on Tuesday to help me set up the magical activities?

Lou: oh boy

Violet-Sabrewing: I’ll ask

lenaonme: do you need us to smuggle in anything again?

TheWebbedWonder: no that’s okay! I still have all the books you brought last time, and I think I can get any herbs we need for spells without suspicion as long as it’s not too close to the sleepover date

lenaonme: 👍

Lou: well I staunchly refuse to participate in any more magical adventures than I need to. Tuesday I have a date with some Pep and Ottoman Empire!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: ugh.

TheWebbedWonder: You don’t have to! This is a strictly Team Magic adventure!!

ICanDeweyIt: aw man :(

TheWebbedWonder: uhh that’s okay Dewey you can come if you want!!

ICanDeweyIt: eh it’s all right I just want validation

lenaonme: understandable. see you tuesday!

ICanDeweyIt: 💙💙

**Team Uncle McDunkle (les parentals)**

_10:43 am_

Indy_Sabrewing: Violet just asked if she and Lena can go over to McDuck Manor on Tuesday to prepare for the sleepover with Webby

purpleisforthegays: fine w/ me

acepilot: us too

22: so we’re all good with the sleepover at large, correct?

Dadnald: Aside from the fact that the kids were obviously planning it in their own group chat before the agreed tech time minimum

Moneybags: ah let them

Moneybags: they’re just excited

Dadnald: Unca it’s the _first day_ of that rule

22: I agree with Donald. It’s good to lay down a solid foundation for rules. Let the children know we will enforce them.

acepilot: okay but I vote we still let them have their sleepover. It is Boyd’s first sleepover. Excuse me, important life milestones happening here!!

Dadnald: okay fair

Dadnald: It’s been approximately two weeks since we all met Boyd and Della’s already imprinting on him

acepilot: like you’re not

Dadnald: shhhhh

Dadnald: you’re right about the sleepover. I don’t want to take that away, and they all seem so excited.

Dadnald: let me figure out something else though, at least for my kids

Indy_Sabrewing: we’ll do it together

purpleisforthegays: Any adventures between now and the sleepover, Mr. McDuck?

Moneybags: just a small day trip to the Sands of Time on Wednesday. should be an easy one.

Dadnald: I think we should just assign them extra chores until then

22: fine by me.

acepilot: hahah same

Moneybags: Gyro?

worldsgreatestinventor: I don’t think I have that kind of relationship with Boyd yet, to be completely honest.

worldsgreatestinventor: but it’s fine he’s a good kid

acepilot: oh I know

Dadnald: I’m picking up Huey and Boyd from their Junior Woodchuck meeting tomorrow; I can talk to the Drakes then

Moneybags: good thinking Donald!

Moneybags: you’ll get there, Gyro

**PM between Junior-Woodchuck74 and TotallyNotGizmoduck**

_11:47 am_

Junior-Woodchuck74: Boyd says you’ve been shopping with him and Dr. Gearloose!!

TotallyNotGizmoduck: yeah!! It was an infallible excuse to get Gyro out of the lab

TotallyNotGizmoduck: He really cares for Boyd.

Junior-Woodchuck74: And Boyd really cares for him!

TotallyNotGizmoduck: I can see that! Boyd is a sweet kid.

TotallyNotGizmoduck: I just wish Gyro would realize that. For a genius, he can be surprisingly dense.

Junior-Woodchuck74: he’s not the only one

TotallyNotGizmoduck: Oh cease whatever scheme you’re planning and help me figure out how to make Gyro overcome his anxieties about parenthood!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: oh I’m down

Junior-Woodchuck74: I’m not dropping this, but I’m down

TotallyNotGizmoduck: I expected nothing less. Now, any brilliant ideas? Come on brain, think!

Junior-Woodchuck74: I think Boyd would be overjoyed to receive parental affection from Gyro. He doesn’t need any meddling; it’s just Gyro

TotallyNotGizmoduck: True

TotallyNotGizmoduck: I believe Gyro’s mostly scared, but he’ll never admit it. Least of all to himself.

TotallyNotGizmoduck: Also, the Drakes are two experienced parents with a stable, large home and income. They have an unending amount of time to spend with their children, and they easily fit society’s heteronormative mold of the perfect nuclear family. 

TotallyNotGizmoduck: they’re everything Gyro is not, and that intimidates him.

Junior-Woodchuck74: The Drakes spent the majority of their parenthood enslaved in their own home and terrified of their son. They’re not exactly the pinnacle of perfect parenthood.

TotallyNotGizmoduck: ha, nice alliteration.

Junior-Woodchuck74: thanks!

TotallyNotGizmoduck: However, I’m not the one you need to convince here. You’re preaching to the choir.

Junior-Woodchuck74: Fair.

Junior-Woodchuck74: Let me ask Webby; she probably has some convoluted scheme to get Dr. Gearloose and Boyd to be a family.

TotallyNotGizmoduck: That makes sense

TotallyNotGizmoduck: I don’t know her very well, but she’s a sweet kid.

Junior-Woodchuck74: she scares you, doesn’t she.

TotallyNotGizmoduck: Oh she totally scares me

**Family Group Chat!!!!**

_2:03 pm_

UnoCaballero: @DosCaballero @TrêsCaballero you know what time it is

UnoCaballero: We’re three caballeros

DosCaballero: Three gay caballeros

TrêsCaballero: They say we are birds of a feather!!

UnoCaballero: We’re happy amigos

DosCaballero: No matter where he goes

TrêsCaballero: The one

UnoCaballero: Two

DosCaballero: And three

TrêsCaballero: goes, we’re always together

UnoCaballero: We’re

DosCaballero: Three

TrêsCaballero: Caballeros

ICanDeweyIt: I can’t believe the adults did a songchain before we did

lenaonme: oh shoot we gotta do one now

TheWebbedWonder: what song should we do?

green-sharpie: CREEPER

ICanDeweyIt: aww man

Junior-Woodchuck74: aww man

Junior-Woodchuck74: darn it

lenaonme: so we back in the mine

Violet-Sabrewing: swinging our pickaxe from side to side

green-sharpie: side side to side

lenaonme: This task a grueling one,

ICanDeweyIt: Hope to find some diamonds tonight, night, night

TheWebbedWonder: diamonds tonight

Blathering-Blatherskite: Heads up, you hear a sound,

Junior-Woodchuck74: FENTON

lenaonme: omg another meme child rises

green-sharpie: not exactly a child skdfhdksla

dr. mad scientist: are we done fangirling yet

Junior-Woodchuck74: not all of us are girls, Dr. Gearloose.

Junior-Woodchuck74: That only perpetuates the ingrained societal mindset that liking something is cringey, and girls are cringey and inferior because they’re tied to that negative connotation

lenaonme: go off

TheWebbedWonder: ^^^^

wreathedingold: Well said!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: Dang I think that’s the first thing Aunt Goldie’s ever said to me 😳

wreathedingold: I’m not your aunt kid

TheWebbedWonder: just you wait

wreathedingold: well that’s ominous

wreathedingold: time for me to bounce then

TheWebbedWonder: Noooo Aunt Goldie come back!!!

ICanDeweyIt: Don’t worry Webs, we’ll get her soon enough.

Scrooge-McDuck: Should I be worried or…?

TheWebbedWonder: nah everything’ll be just fine Uncle Scrooge!!

dr. mad scientist: RED NEPHEW.

dr. mad scientist: STOP SPAMMING MY PMS.

dr. mad scientist: one more message and I block you, capishe?

UnoCaballero: You can’t block Huey for emergency purposes

Junior-Woodchuck74: I’m just making sure you get the message Dr. Gearloose

dr. mad scientist: okay okay

dr. mad scientist: it was more of a drag against Fenton anyway

Blathering-Blatherskite: hey!!

TheCrashiestCrash: nooo, we love you fenton!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: yesss Fenton positivity hours!!

Ihaveahead!!!: Fenton positivity hours!!

mutant-krill!!!!: Fenton positivity hours!!

TheCrashiestCrash: Fenton positivity hours!!

TheWebbedWonder: Fenton positivity hours!!

UnoCaballero: Fenton positivity hours!!

moonlander-general: well that’s creepy.

ghostbutler: it’s best not to question their antics.

Tea Time: Oh dear, Duckworth is making logical sense! He’s been replaced by a fake!

ghostbutler: You wish.

ICanDeweyIt: LONG LIVE THE HIVEMIND

lenaonme: Fenton positivity hours!!

DosCaballero: Fenton positivity hours!!

Violet-Sabrewing: Fenton positivity hours!!

Lucky-Gander: Fenton positivity hours!!

purpleisforthegays: Fenton positivity hours!!

adefinitelyrealboy: Fenton positivity hours!!

Lil’ Bulb: Fenton positivity hours!!

Blathering-Blatherskite: <3 <3

dr. mad scientist: betrayed by my own inventions… 

Lil’ Bulb: ily2

dr. mad scientist: which one of you kids taught him that

Junior-Woodchuck74: dewey

lenaonme: dewey

green-sharpie: dewey

ICanDeweyIt: oh shut up

ICanDeweyIt: I’m not sorry

Violet-Sabrewing: as you should be

ICanDeweyIt: and I would’ve gotten away with it if not for you meddling kids!!!

Lucky-Gander: haha

Adventure-Pilot: lol

UnoCaballero: sdfghgfds

lenaonme: dewey getting that Adult Validation

ICanDeweyIt: it do be like that 😌

ICanDeweyIt: anyway back to the song chain!!

ICanDeweyIt: yall adults are welcome to join us just don’t mess it up

Lucky-Gander: wouldn’t dream of it

lenaonme: creeper

ICanDeweyIt: aww man

Junior-Woodchuck74: that’s not where we were in the song

ICanDeweyIt: AWW MAN

Violet-Sabrewing: So we back in the mine

TheWebbedWonder: rocking our pickaxe from side to side

UnoCaballero: side side to side

green-sharpie: This task a grueling one

TheCrashiestCrash: Hoping to find some diamonds tonight

DosCaballero: night night

Blathering-Blatherskite: Diamonds tonight

Violet-Sabrewing: heads up

purpleisforthegays: you hear a sound

lenaonme: turn around and look up

Lil’ Bulb: total shock fills your body

TheWebbedWonder: Oh no it’s you again

Junior-Woodchuck74: I could never forget those eyes, eyes

TrêsCaballero: eyes eyes eyes

ihaveahead!!!: cause baby tonight

ICanDeweyIt: DISCORD

green-sharpie: The creeper's trying to steal all our stuff again,

ICanDeweyIt: IM HOWLING AT THE MOON

lenaonme: SLEEPING IN THE MIDDLE OF A SUMMER AFTERNOON

Junior-Woodchuck74: dewey i hate you

ICanDeweyIt: can’t help it i’m a wild child

Junior-Woodchuck74: last week you cried because the supermarket was all out of blue rock candy

ICanDeweyIt: WILD CHILD, HUBERT

Junior-Woodchuck74: IT’S JUST SUGAR AND FOOD COLORING

ICanDeweyIt: SHUT UP IT’S GOOD

lenaonme: ok shut up nerds hash it out later we’re going back to singing

lenaonme: DISCOOOOORD

green-sharpie: whatever did we do

dr. mad scientist: is this the hecking mlp song

Adventure-Pilot: hah hecking

dr. mad scientist: DONALD EDITS MY TEXTS

UnoCaballero: as i should 

UnoCaballero: don’t swear around my kids

TheCrashiestCrash: TO MAKE YOU TAKE OUR WORLD AWAAAAAAAAY

TheWebbedWonder: Discord, are we your prey alone

TrêsCaballero: or are we just a stepping stone to taking back the throne

Blathering-Blatherskite: Discord

Violet-Sabrewing: We won’t take it anymore

DosCaballero: So take your tyranny away!

purpleisforthegays: discoooooooooord…

Junior-Woodchuck74: discoooooooooord…

green-sharpie: discoooooooooord…

moonlander-general: wha

ICanDeweyIt: shh penny we’re singing

adefinitelyrealboy: this is quite an interesting phenomenon!!

mutant-krill!!!!: agreed, it is quite fascinating!!

green-sharpie: OH SHOOT BOYD DOESN’T KNOW ANY MEME SONGS

lenaonme: 😔😔👊

ICanDeweyIt: YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

TheWebbedWonder: I’m adding it to the sleepover agenda now!!

Violet-Sabrewing: Della and Penumbra should join us, since they don’t know either

Junior-Woodchuck74: good idea! but what about Uncle Indy and Uncle Scrooge? And Dr. Gearloose?

Blathering-Blatherskite: Gyro knows meme songs he’s just not participating out of spite

dr. mad scientist: shut up fenton

Violet-Sabrewing: there’s no hope for them

wreathedingold: HAH

TheWebbedWonder: oh Aunt Goldie!! I thought you left!!

wreathedingold: shush pink niece

TheWebbedWonder: omg she knows who i am 🥺💚❤️🥰

green-sharpie: uhh not quite webs

Scrooge-McDuck: Excuse me!

Scrooge-McDuck: we had this conversation earlier today. I am a _polyglot_.

TheCrashiestCrash: And I told you Mr. McDee!! Love who you love!!

Scrooge-McDuck: Oh tatter me tartan.

wreathedingold: quite the enthusiastic brood you have there, Scroogey!

Scrooge-McDuck: I can’t believe this.

Indy_Sabrewing: That’s it Violet; no reading for fun.

Violet-Sabrewing: No!

lenaonme: 😔👊

TheWebbedWonder: Oh no!!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: We should invite Uncle Fethry too, if he can make it

mutant-krill!!!!: my schedule is full of traveling the seas with Mitzy and cataloguing our scientific findings and experiences!!

mutant-krill!!!!: But I will check.

adefinitelyrealboy: I can hardly wait!!

Tea Time: And when is this?

ICanDeweyIt: Well we were planning on showing Boyd at the sleepover, but it seems my dear class has grown… 

ICanDeweyIt: PROFESSOR DEWFORD RISES

Junior-Woodchuck74: @Tea Time Wednesday will work.

Tea Time: Wonderful. I’ll mark it in the family calendar. 

lenaonme: mrs beakley ily

Tea Time: Thank you, Lena.

ICanDeweyIt: P R O F E S S O R D E W F O R D

green-sharpie: oh boy

Junior-Woodchuck74: you don’t have a Ph.D idiot

ICanDeweyIt: Neither does Fenton but do you see that stopping him?

Blathering-Blatherskite: why must you keep bringing up my lack of a doctorate?

lenaonme: it’s funny

green-sharpie: yeah pretty much

green-sharpie: you know we’re only going to bring it up more now right?

Blathering-Blatherskite: oh blathering blatherskite

Blathering-Blatherskite: What has my life come to? I’m being mercilessly mocked by a bunch of children.

dr. mad scientist: HAH

Tea Time: That’s just what children are like.

lenaonme: mrs beakley says this as if she doesn’t tease everyone mercilessly too

Tea Time: That goes without saying.

Lil’ Bulb: it do be like that 😔👊

dr. mad scientist: OH COME ON

dr. mad scientist: WHICH ONE OF YOU TAUGHT HIM THAT

Lucky-Gander: dude you literally just had this conversation

dr. mad scientist: I’LL KILL YOU KIDS

UnoCaballero: NO

Adventure-Pilot: I’LL KILL YOU FIRST

ihaveahead!!!: i dont doubt that

dr. mad scientist: WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON MANNY

ihaveahead!!!: della’s

dr. mad scientist: typical.

lenaonme: _nearlythrewhandswitha13yearold.png_

Violet-Sabrewing: yes pretty much

TheWebbedWonder: sldkfhdskl;a

Blathering-Blatherskite: oh how the tables have turned

dr. mad scientist: i hate you all

Adventure-Pilot: we love you too mwah <3 <3

dr. mad scientist: ewww

TheWebbedWonder: commence operation: SMOTHER DR. GEARLOOSE IN LOVE AND AFFECTION

Adventure-Pilot: HECK YEAH

Blathering-Blatherskite: Sounds like an interesting scheme with a potentially volatile reaction from the subject, but with likely a desired outcome!!!

TheWebbedWonder: aw thanks Fenton <3

Blathering-Blatherskite: anytime!!

lenaonme: lol get him

dr. mad scientist: I TRUSTED YOU WEBBIGAIL

TheWebbedWonder: THIS IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD

TheWebbedWonder: TIME TO HEAD OVER TO THE LAB EVERYONE

dr. mad scientist: no

TheCrashiestCrash: I’ll drive!!

dr. mad scientist: NO

dr. mad scientist: FENTON STOP THEM

Blathering-Blatherskite: :3

ICanDeweyIt: S’DLFKDSL;KDKFHSKLASKEISKAGSKASKD

dr. mad scientist: YOU WILL DIE PAINFULLY

TrêsCaballero: This chat is… interesting

ICanDeweyIt: Get used to it Uncle José!!!

TrêsCaballero: I am… Uncle José?

TrêsCaballero: What an honor!!

ICanDeweyIt: sure you are!! you’re close enough to uncle donald

TheWebbedWonder: and we love you!!!

ICanDeweyIt: yeah and that

UnoCaballero: awww kids

TrêsCaballero: you must meet my biological nephews, Zico and Zeca!!

TheWebbedWonder: NEW FRIENDS!!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: Uncle Scrooge

Scrooge-McDuck: Yes Huey?

Junior-Woodchuck74: On an unrelated note, can we take an adventure in Brazil?

TrêsCaballero: 🥰🥰

Scrooge-McDuck: ugh 

Scrooge-McDuck: I’ll look into it

TheWebbedWonder: I’ll help you Uncle Scrooge!!

Indy_Sabrewing: Is this the adventure you promised Della?

TheWebbedWonder: Nope!! My lips are sealed on that one

lenaonme: huh you’re actually doing that

TheWebbedWonder: Yep!! And it’s gonna be amazing!!

Adventure-Pilot: I bet!!

TheWebbedWonder: 💕💕💕

TheWebbedWonder: I love you!!!

Adventure-Pilot: aww I love you too honey!!

DosCaballero: Not to interrupt this adorable declaration of love but

green-sharpie: you’re an uncle too

DosCaballero: !!!!!

UnoCaballero: I’m proud of you guys

purpleisforthegays: are you talking to your friends or to the kids?

UnoCaballero: up for interpretation

**PM between Junior-Woodchuck74 and TotallyNotGizmoduck**

_4:35 pm_

TotallyNotGizmoduck: Huey

Junior-Woodchuck74: Yes Fenton?

TotallyNotGizmoduck: I scrolled up in the major group chat and your uncle said something odd about his nickname

Junior-Woodchuck74: Wait, why were you scrolling up in chat?

TotallyNotGizmoduck: Manny and Lil’ Bulb roped me into taking out of context screenshots.

Junior-Woodchuck74: Oh hey Dewey and Lena do that too!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: What did you find?

TotallyNotGizmoduck: _screenshot-2020-08-06-4.24-PM_

[aw-phooey: mine used to but I changed it when the band broke up. too dangerous to keep it ngl]

TotallyNotGizmoduck: Why would it be too dangerous for him to keep his Three Caballeros nickname?

Junior-Woodchuck74: Yeah that’s definitely weird

Junior-Woodchuck74: Especially since Uncle Donald’s account is private

TotallyNotGizmoduck: this chat service only has basic security. It is easily hacked if someone has the means.

Junior-Woodchuck74: That means they’d have to want to find Uncle Donald

Junior-Woodchuck74: Fenton I’m scared for Uncle Donald now

TotallyNotGizmoduck: I’m sure he’s okay! He knows how to protect himself, if nothing else.

Junior-Woodchuck74: true

TotallyNotGizmoduck: Besides, you have me, a literal superhero, on your side if anything goes wrong!!

TotallyNotGizmoduck: and your family is exceptionally good at fighting off threats. You’ll be okay, Huey.

Junior-Woodchuck74: i’m not worried for me

Junior-Woodchuck74: but thanks, Fenton

Junior-Woodchuck74: i think i’m gonna sleep on this and then do some DuckDuckGo searches on the Three Caballeros tomorrow, okay?

TotallyNotGizmoduck: Of course, Huey

Junior-Woodchuck74: talk tomorrow?

TotallyNotGizmoduck: wouldn’t miss it!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: and you should really change your name

TotallyNotGizmoduck: I will

**PM between TheWebbedWonder and TotallyNotGizmoduck**

_7:43 pm_

TheWebbedWonder: Hi Fenton!!

TotallyNotGizmoduck: Hello Webby!!

TheWebbedWonder: I realized I never added your mother to our group chatTheWebbedWonder: Can I have her username?

TotallyNotGizmoduck: Of course! I figured something was up

TotallyNotGizmoduck: Not that you can’t contact me casually!!

TheWebbedWonder: I’ll keep that in mind! 💖

TheWebbedWonder: Your mom is really nice but I don’t know her that well

TotallyNotGizmoduck: Oh you two will definitely get along

TotallyNotGizmoduck: There is a 93% chance of it

TotallyNotGizmoduck: The 7% is if she catches wind of the illegal activities Lena drags you into

TheWebbedWonder: It was ONE time and that guy deserved it!! It was justice!!!

TotallyNotGizmoduck: Webby, you set a citizen’s apartment ablaze!!!

TheWebbedWonder: He was being a jerk

TheWebbedWonder: He purposefully misgendered Dewey and Violet

TheWebbedWonder: and he made some really gross comments about Lena

TotallyNotGizmoduck: Webby, I understand that

TotallyNotGizmoduck: M’ma and I have to deal with our fair share of jerks

TotallyNotGizmoduck: And in all honesty, she would probably respect the karma of your actions. I definitely do.

TheWebbedWonder: yeah I get it

TotallyNotGizmoduck: I became a superhero to help people

TotallyNotGizmoduck: And that person deserved what came to them, but sometimes there are better ways to help people

TheWebbedWonder: sure okay

TheWebbedWonder: I mean you should probably give Lena the lecture

TotallyNotGizmoduck: I’ll keep that in mind

TotallyNotGizmoduck: but you’re a good kid webby

TheWebbedWonder: awww thanks 💖💖

TotallyNotGizmoduck: You and M’ma will get along

TotallyNotGizmoduck: You’re both kind, powerful, passionate women who scare me

TheWebbedWonder: Aww, I scare you? That’s so sweet!!! Thank you!!!

TotallyNotGizmoduck: Uhhh you’re welcome?

TheWebbedWonder: 🥰🥰

**let kids be kids**

_8:03 pm_

TheWebbedWonder: Fenton is lecturing me about when we set that guy’s house on fire

lenaonme: hah that was awesome

Lou: ew lectures

Junior-Woodchuck74: I told you that was a bad idea

Violet-Sabrewing: It worked out, though

TheWebbedWonder: he’s so nice but also I want to set all bigots’ houses on fire

ICanDeweyIt: as you should

Violet-Sabrewing: *as WE should

ICanDeweyIt: you’re right vi!!!

lenaonme: *cracks knuckles* aight i got this

TheWebbedWonder: wait no lena don’t be mean

lenaonme: shhh it’s just a little bit of good-natured teasing

TheWebbedWonder: Lena

Junior-Woodchuck74: Lena

Violet-Sabrewing: Lena

adefinitelyrealboy: Don’t be mean to Dr. Crackshell-Cabrera!! He has to deal with a lot of their comments anyway. And he’s a superhero!! He knows what he’s doing!!!

Violet-Sabrewing: Fenton is a superhero?

lenaonme: khdskalksdf HE’S gizmoduck????

Junior-Woodchuck74: oh no

Violet-Sabrewing: I did think of this hypothesis a couple months ago

adefinitelyrealboy: Oh no!! I didn’t mean to reveal Dr. Crackshell-Cabrera’s secret identity!!

ICanDeweyIt: not much of a secret tbh. he has a whole journal entry for people who know he’s Gizmoduck

TheWebbedWonder: Guess he has two more names to add to that list

Lou: to be fair, his username is TotallyNotGizmoduck. That’s pretty sus

Junior-Woodchuck74: he really needs to change that.

ICanDeweyIt: yeah

**PM between lenaonme and TotallyNotGizmoduck**

_8:24 pm_

lenaonme: ay yo

TotallyNotGizmoduck: Hi, Lena!

lenaonme: be gay do crime

TotallyNotGizmoduck: Lena no

lenaonme: lena yes

TotallyNotGizmoduck: I suppose Webby talked to you?

lenaonme: yes

lenaonme: also vi and i know your secret identity now

TotallyNotGizmoduck: darn it

lenaonme: seriously change your name that’s kind of pathetic ngl

TotallyNotGizmoduck: I understand you like fitting the image of “rebellious teenager” and all, but are the insults completely necessary?

lenaonme: oh thank webby she convinced me to only lightly tease you

lenaonme: it’s with love~ 💖

TotallyNotGizmoduck: Not quite sure if I buy that

TotallyNotGizmoduck: I don’t want to have to apprehend you if you commit crimes, Lena

TotallyNotGizmoduck: and my M’ma wouldn’t either

lenaonme: i don’t even know her

TotallyNotGizmoduck: You will tomorrow!!

lenaonme: i can’t decide if that’s ominous or just overly preppy

TotallyNotGizmoduck: I’m just a little excited

lenaonme: lmao lame

TotallyNotGizmoduck: :(

TotallyNotGizmoduck: I hate teenagers

lenaonme: blanket statement huh

TotallyNotGizmoduck: sorry

TotallyNotGizmoduck: I wouldn't be forced into negative feelings if you weren't mean to me!

lenaonme: it's because i love you

TotallyNotGizmoduck: you keep saying that, but I'm not so sure I believe it...

**Science Gays**

_8:48 pm_

fentonium: why are kids like this

worldsgreatestinventor: agreed, very negative feelings indeed

adefinitelyrealboy: :(

worldsgreatestinventor: except for you Boyd

Junior-Woodchuck74: It’s because we love you

adefinitelyrealboy: what about Huey?

worldsgreatestinventor: ehhhhhhh

Junior-Woodchuck74: disappointed but not surprised

Junior-Woodchuck74: let me guess you talked to Lena?

fentonium: yes

worldsgreatestinvention: she’s cool

worldsgreatestinvention: she taught me memes

worldsgreatestinventor: WHAT

worldsgreatestinventor: red nephew!! your lot told me that was dewey!!

worldsgreatestinvention: just for those specific memes

worldsgreatestinvention: it was a group effort

Headless-Mannyhorse: good for them

worldsgreatestinventor: they will rue the day!!

fentonium: oookaay

fentonium: you know what I prefer Lena to this

Junior-Woodchuck74: she knows

fentonium: oh no

Junior-Woodchuck74: that’s one of the reasons she likes it so much

fentonium: _oh no_

**Family Group Chat!!!!**

_4:55 am_

lenaonme: b͈̻̙͕̲̭ͦͦ̾͛l͉͒a̱̳̠̳͈͎̖̓ͪc̆͒k͎͖͈͓̎̌͒p̝͈̌ͫͥͦi̩͙͙͕ͫ̋͛ň̦̌k̟͐̾ ̟̼̥͎ͣͫ͛̂i̞͓̰̜͇̜̪ͧ͑͌̓s̙ͤ͛ͩ ̩̞̖͖̺̐̈͋͆́̈́ͅt̙̥̄ͨͭ͐h̩͇̮̙̬̉͂ͫe͕͚̳̩̞͚̜ ̞͕̰̇͛̏̍ͨ̄r͉̹̱̬͑̄̾͐ḛ͖̘̇̆v̺̱̇̽͒o̤̮̤l̞̯̪̳͕̿͆͌ͭͅu̮̼̝̤̅̑ͬ̾͑͂̍t͇̲̺̘̀i̘ͦ̿͗o̪ͣ͐̓̇ͦ̎ͬn͙̱͔̩͙͒́̋̽̎̎~

dr. mad scientist: oh my god shut up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huey: Junior-Woodchuck74  
> Dewey: ICanDeweyIt  
> Louie: Lou / green-sharpie*  
> Webby: TheWebbedWonder / Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl*  
> Donald: aw-phooey* / Dadnald / UnoCaballero  
> Scrooge: Scrooge-McDuck* / Moneybags  
> Della: worldsgreatestadventurer* / Adventure-Pilot / universesgreatestadventurer /acepilot  
> Beakley: 22 / Tea Time  
> Launchpad: TheCrashiestCrash  
> Lena: lenaonme  
> Violet: Violet-Sabrewing  
> Duckworth: ghostbutler  
> Gyro: worldsgreatestinventor* / dr mad scientist / wildlymisunderstood  
> Fenton: TotallyNotGizmoduck* / Blathering-Blatherskite  
> Manny: ihaveahead!!!  
> Lil' Bulb: worldsgreatestinvention* / Lil' Bulb  
> Gladstone: Lucky-Gander  
> Fethry: mutant-krill!!!!  
> Indy: Indy_Sabrewing  
> Ty: purpleisforthegays  
> Goldie: Wine-Aunt* / wreathedingold  
> Penny: moonlander-general  
> Boyd: adefinitelyrealboy  
> Panchito: DosCaballero  
> José: blackmagica* / TrêsCaballero
> 
> *main
> 
> i listened to a bunch of various blackpink while making this (on if it's your last rn) so that's why that ending moment is there lmao. it's just a glimpse into my life i guess. it's also a fitting reference since i wrote a bunch of this during a writing sprint with friends (and i lost :( ) and they introduced me to almost all of the blackpink songs i know!
> 
> there's a moment in which dewey called himself a "wild child" which is inspired by another friend calling me a wild child the other day. it just be like that i guess. (tragically, neither this friend nor the blackpink friends are into ducktales so they won't read this. but moon, silv, viper, rose, if you're out there... ily)
> 
> peep some sexuality headcanons!! I tried not to make them too overwhelming since I know a lot of people have different hcs, but they slipped in. It didn't make it in, but I hc that in addition to the no-label thing for genders, Scrooge is also demisexual and demiromantic!! I'm aroace so that means something to me. Also re: the bigot Webby and Fenton were talking about, I hc Violet is trans and Dewey is nb (thank the duckfalls server for that one). and lena is gay. but all headcanons are cool n valid and i'd love to hear some of yours!!
> 
> i unexpectedly got a really good response to this fic last week and i just want to say thank you!! it means so much to me that people like this fic and that people like my writing in general. i love all of you <3 i haven't responded to comments from last week yet cause energy but i promise i will i just need energy. but i read all of them and they were so sweet!! so thank you!!
> 
> in a similar vein, no penny pokemon plot this week cause the week slipped by and i forgot to message ppl about pokemon but i definitely will do that. it'll probably be back for next time. thank you so much to everyone who offered!! i'll probably take you guys up on that. 
> 
> also thanks to the people on tumblr who gave me scrooge phrases. @just-sinag sent me an amazing video of all of scrooge's catchphrases from dt87 (which i didn't get to use this time unfortunately but definitely next time) which was really helpful, but everyone who replied to my post is really awesome and i appreciate it!! 
> 
> in other news, my cat just meowed at the door while i'm writing this author's note and then jumped very cartoonishly when the door bumped against the wall. she's a little freaked out right now, poor baby. but i love her.


	4. in which Gyro and M'ma start some arguments, Team Adventure fights some monsters, Webby and Della cause some chaos, and other nonsese

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The kids have some Kid Shenanigans(TM), Dewey gets in over his head, Lena gets some Character Moments, and Officer Cabrera offers to punch Gyro more than once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> names time! 
> 
> Huey: Junior-Woodchuck74  
> Dewey: ICanDeweyIt  
> Louie: Lou / green-sharpie* / Snorlax's Cuddle Buddy  
> Webby: TheWebbedWonder / Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl*  
> Donald: aw-phooey* / Dadnald / UnoCaballero  
> Scrooge: Scrooge-McDuck* / Moneybags  
> Della: worldsgreatestadventurer* / Adventure-Pilot / universesgreatestadventurer /acepilot  
> Beakley: 22 / Tea Time  
> Launchpad: TheCrashiestCrash  
> Lena: lenaonme  
> Violet: Violet-Sabrewing  
> Duckworth: ghostbutler  
> Gyro: worldsgreatestinventor* / dr mad scientist / wildlymisunderstood  
> Fenton: TotallyNotGizmoduck* / Blathering-Blatherskite  
> Manny: ihaveahead!!!  
> Lil' Bulb: worldsgreatestinvention* / Lil' Bulb  
> Gladstone: Lucky-Gander  
> Fethry: mutant-krill!!!!  
> Indy: Indy_Sabrewing  
> Ty: purpleisforthegays  
> Goldie: Wine-Aunt* / wreathedingold  
> Penny: moonlander-general  
> Boyd: adefinitelyrealboy  
> Panchito: DosCaballero  
> José: blackmagica* / TrêsCaballero  
> Officer Cabrera: M.A.M.A.

**let kids be kids**

_ 6:55 am _

ICanDeweyIt: WHAT IS UP GAYS AND GALS

TheWebbedWonder: hi :3

Junior-Woodchuck74: you couldn’t have waited five minutes

ICanDeweyIt: it’s the kids gc uncle donald won’t know

Junior-Woodchuck74: knowing him he’ll find a way

ICanDeweyIt: true

ICanDeweyIt: anyway what’s up

Junior-Woodchuck74: over half of us live in the same house as you and we’re all sleeping

TheWebbedWonder: im not

Junior-Woodchuck74: you should be

Junior-Woodchuck74: you stayed up until 3 on facetime with Lena

lenaonme: yes and

Junior-Woodchuck74: when you and Violet come over we’re going to have a talk about healthy sleep habits

lenaonme: you’ll never catch me, nerd!!

ICanDeweyIt: SHUSH huey im bored

Junior-Woodchuck74: I know

adefinitelyrealboy: do you like cat videos, Dewey?

green-sharpie:  _ oh no _

adefinitelyrealboy: Webby and I have been sending some back and forth to each other!!

TheWebbedWonder: Finally a fellow cat video enthusiast :3

green-sharpie: webby istg

ICanDeweyIt:  _ oh YES _

adefinitelyrealboy: yay!!

adefinitelyrealboy: I’ll send them right away <3

**Family Group Chat!!!**

_ 7:01 am _

mutant-krill!!!!: good morning everyone!!

ICanDeweyIt: good morning!!

Lucky-Gander: good morning!

Lucky-Gander: What’s the haps today

lenaonme: please never say that again

TheWebbedWonder: I WANNA GO CAMPING

TheWebbedWonder: WHO’S WITH ME

Junior-Woodchuck74: Webby, we just started planning a sleepover

Junior-Woodchuck74: and you’re allegedly planning an adventure?

TheWebbedWonder: I am :3

Violet-Sabrewing: please stop using that emoticon

TheWebbedWonder: :3 :3 :3

adefinitelyrealboy: oh!! That’s so cute!!

TheWebbedWonder: I know :3

UnoCaballero: maybe focus on one thing at a time, webs

TheWebbedWonder: ugh fine

Adventure-Pilot: do you need any help planning your adventure?

TheWebbedWonder: Ooh are you offering?

Adventure-Pilot: sure!

TheWebbedWonder: !!! I’d love that!!

Adventure-Pilot: 💖💖💖

Tea Time: Stop stealing my children.

TheWebbedWonder: aww Granny!!

TheWebbedWonder: It’s okay you can both be my parental figures 💖

TheWebbedWonder: I have lots of them!!

ICanDeweyIt: Webby’s winning in terms of parental figures tbh

Junior-Woodchuck74: true 😔😔

TheWebbedWonder: >:3

green-sharpie: stOP

TheWebbedWonder: no >:3

dr. mad scientist: thanks i hate it

Tea Time: Which one of you children taught him that

Blathering-Blatherskite: I feel déja vu

Lil’ Bulb: I did :3

green-sharpie: NOOOO THEY’RE MULTIPLYING

TheWebbedWonder: YES

TheWebbedWonder: EMBRACE IT

ICanDeweyIt:  _ never _

ICanDeweyIt: YOU’LL NEVER CATCH ME

TheWebbedWonder: I CAN AND I WILL

green-sharpie: lol run

Junior-Woodchuck74: Dewey just got up and sprinted away

lenaonme: webby ended our call :(

ICanDeweyIt: you guys called AGAIN

lenaonme: yes and

UnoCaballero: is someone else joining our chat today?

DosCaballero: wym?

Junior-Woodchuck74: Well, Webby seems to add one person every single day

Blathering-Blatherskite: except for yesterday, when she added both of you!

DosCaballero: hah! we’re special!

DosCaballero: @TrêsCaballero get over here we’re being special

TrêsCaballero: Did someone say special?

TrêsCaballero: Because I am very special! ✨

Junior-Woodchuck74: btw Tío José most people use that emoji ironically now

TrêsCaballero: Oh? Well I suppose they just couldn’t handle the sheer power of me! ✨

lenaonme: heck yeah reinvent the world break those stereotypes

lenaonme: @UnoCaballero stop editing my texts

TrêsCaballero: I will!

TrêsCaballero: the sparkles emoji was invented specifically for me

DosCaballero: oh absolutely

UnoCaballero: stop swearing then

lenaonme: ur not my dad

UnoCaballero: but I am your uncle

lenaonme: skdfghgfds

lenaonme: ok 

Junior-Woodchuck74: @Blathering-Blatherskite answer my DM

Scrooge-McDuck: don’t distract my employees at work lad

Blathering-Blatherskite: sorry I was getting something for webby

Scrooge-McDuck: you are working

Blathering-Blatherskite: yes that

dr. mad scientist: hey DUMMY

dr. mad scientist: get over here and work on this chart

Blathering-Blatherskite: why are you texting the mega group chat we're literally in the same room

Scrooge-McDuck: see laddie? work. work that needs to be done

Scrooge-McDuck: I’m not paying them to waste time on their phones, you hear?

ihaveahead!!!: i’m not sure if this is meant for huey or for us

Lil’ Bulb: probably both

Scrooge-McDuck: it’s both

ihaveahead!!!: that checks out

_ TheWebbedWonder added M.A.M.A.  _

Blathering-Blatherskite: M’MA!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: oh hello Ms. Cabrera!!

M.A.M.A.: hello!!

Scrooge-McDuck: oh no my employee productivity!!

adefinitelyrealboy: Hello! I’m Boyd, a definitely real boy!

M.A.M.A.: um, alright.

M.A.M.A.: nice to meet you, Boyd!

adefinitelyrealboy: my name is an acronym just like yours!

M.A.M.A.: Oh really? What does your name stand for?

adefinitelyrealboy: Be Only Yourself Dude!

M.A.M.A.: Well that’s certainly wholesome.

adefinitelyrealboy: thanks! I picked it out myself!

adefinitelyrealboy: what does your name stand for?

M.A.M.A.:  María Antonia Magdalena Aldonsa. It’s my name!

TheCrashiestCrash: neat!!

Scrooge-McDuck: welcome Ms. Cabrera, now my employees need to get back to work

UnoCaballero: ok lol

Scrooge-McDuck: what does that mean?

Scrooge-McDuck: Donald, what does that mean???

UnoCaballero: have fun~

Scrooge-McDuck: DONALD FAULTEROY DUCK

dr. mad scientist: HAHAHAHAHAHA your middle name is faulteroy???

Adventure-Pilot: dude your name is literally gyro you don’t have much of a leg here to stand on

dr. mad scientist: neither do you, DUMBELLA.

moonlander-general: HAHAHAHAHA is that really your full name??

Adventure-Pilot: shut up shut up

dr. mad scientist: that’s what you get

Blathering-Blatherskite: Gyro got banned from Starducks because he cursed out employees who thought his name was an allusion to the sandwich

dr. mad scientist: it’s not MY fault they can’t see the brilliance in a perfectly good name!!

dr. mad scientist: i picked it out myself!!

green-sharpie: oh, so it’s perfect in every way

dr. mad scientist: yes!!!

dr. mad scientist: wait was that sarcasm

dr. mad scientist: if that was sarcasm you will rue the day!!!

Scrooge-McDuck: Gyro, what did we say about threatening children?

dr. mad scientist: not to.

Scrooge-McDuck: good!!

Scrooge-McDuck: now get back to work

DosCaballero: you really have a one-track mind huh

Scrooge-McDuck: HEY

Lucky-Gander: he does care a lot about money

wreathedingold: ugh it’s the opposite

wreathedingold: he doesn’t care enough about money

Scrooge-McDuck: come now Goldie

Scrooge-McDuck: i put my family above my money and i’m not shy about it

Tea Time: as you should.

Scrooge-McDuck: thank you, Bentina.

**Teach Penny and Mom Pokémon Group Chat!!!!**

_ 11:22 am _

ICanDeweyIt: ok what’s your favorite pokemon

ICanDeweyIt: this is for science

Junior-Woodchuck74: did you finally escape from webby

ICanDeweyIt: shhh i’m hiding

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: not for long

ICanDeweyIt: nO

ICanDeweyIt: anyway

ICanDeweyIt: i’ll go first

wildlymisunderstood: i don’t like pokemon

TotallyNotGizmoduck: LIES

ICanDeweyIt: NO

ICanDeweyIt: i can’t believe you’d do this to me gyro

wildlymisunderstood: dr. gearloose

ICanDeweyIt: treason

ICanDeweyIt: treason of the highest caliber

ICanDeweyIt: this calls for… public execution!!!

wildlymisunderstood: lol no

aw-phooey: dewey…

ICanDeweyIt: anyway i like keldeo and jigglypuff

lenaonme: >:o neither of them are even blue

ICanDeweyIt: part of them are!!!

lenaonme: who are you and what have you done with dewey

ICanDeweyIt: shut UP

green-sharpie: anyway i like snorlax

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: leaked louie fact: he would snuggle with a snorlax

aw-phooey: confirmed

green-sharpie: whaaaaat they look vv cozy

green-sharpie: tell me you wouldn’t

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: okay fair

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: i’m writing down “snorlax plushie” as a gift idea!!

green-sharpie: OOOOOH 👀

green-sharpie: WEBS YOU’RE THE BEST

green-sharpie: the rest of you need to step up

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: 🥰🥰

green-sharpie: hey you know what i also like

green-sharpie: meowth

green-sharpie: meowth plushie go

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: i’ll put it on the list!

aw-phooey: louie

universesgreatestadventurer: louie

Junior-Woodchuck74: louie c’mon

green-sharpie: ugh fine

ICanDeweyIt: webby go

green-sharpie: you’re just trying to distract her aren’t you

ICanDeweyIt: yes and

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: fairy types!

wildlymisunderstood: of course

aw-phooey: i like Gyarados!

Lucky-Gander: as you should  


moonlander-general: that sounds like Gyro’s name

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: ooh yeah it does!

wildlymisunderstood: I suppose Gyarados is deserving of my name

universesgreatestadventurer: oh my  _ god _ -

wildlymisunderstood: della shut up

universesgreatestadventurer: hey

aw-phooey:  _ hey _

wildlymisunderstood: any pokemon would be better anyway though

aw-phooey: no they’re not

wildlymisunderstood: incorrect

TotallyNotGizmoduck: hey don’t fight!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: uhh

_ Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl changed green-sharpie’s name to Snorlax’s Cuddle Buddy _

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: tell me i’m wrong

wildlymisunderstood: you’re wrong

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: shut up you don’t actually think that you just wanted the chance to tell me off

wildlymisunderstood: truth

Snorlax’s Cuddle Buddy: okay valid 

Snorlax’s Cuddle Buddy: but how does that solve  _ anything _

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: idk

ICanDeweyIt: mom wbu?

worldsgreatestadventurer: my team consists of a growlithe, a lucario, a garchomp, a zorua, and a sneezel!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: oooh very concise i like it

worldsgreatestadventurer: thank you, dear!!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: 🥰🥰 skdfdksl;df

ICanDeweyIt: cool cool cool

ICanDeweyIt: writing that down thank you

worldsgreatestadventurer: should i be worried?

aw-phooey: nah

**PM between TotallyNotGizmoduck and lenaonme**

_ 2:44 pm _

lenaonme: yo

TotallyNotGizmoduck: hi, Lena.

lenaonme: so

lenaonme: huey yelled at me

TotallyNotGizmoduck: haha sorry

lenaonme: geez don’t apologize when i’m trying to apologize lmao

TotallyNotGizmoduck: oh! Uh.. i’m not sorry?

lenaonme: that works i guess

lenaonme: anyway it was supposed to be just light teasing i’m sorry for being mean

TotallyNotGizmoduck: it’s okay

lenaonme: you don’t have to say that

TotallyNotGizmoduck: it is though!

lenaonme: okay thanks

lenaonme: and please for the love of all things magic change your name

TotallyNotGizmoduck: one day

lenaonme: but really

lenaonme: i am sorry

TotallyNotGizmoduck: well… I hereby accept your apology!

lenaonme: kjsdfhgjfkdls

lenaonme: thanks

TotallyNotGizmoduck: anytime

_ 2:53 pm _

TotallyNotGizmoduck: oh and Lena?

lenaonme: yeah?

TotallyNotGizmoduck: I know we don’t really talk but I still care about you

lenaonme: huh

lenaonme: thanks

lenaonme: i really am sorry

TotallyNotGizmoduck: it’s okay

TotallyNotGizmoduck: I’m here if you need me

lenaonme: thanks

lenaonme: I might take you up on that one day

**Family Group Chat!!!!**

_ 3:34 pm _

UnoCaballero: is everyone okay?

UnoCaballero: sound off

green-sharpie: yep

Scrooge-McDuck: here

Blathering-Blatherskite: yeah, what’s going on?

Junior-Woodchuck74: Mom and Webby unleashed a portal to the boiling isles during their adventure research

Blathering-Blatherskite: oh shoot, do you need Gizmoduck’s help?

Blathering-Blatherskite: cause I can call him. Yeah. i have him on speed dial

Blathering-Blatherskite: cause so many of Gyro’s inventions go haywire!

Lil’ Bulb: oh my god

dr. mad scientist: not evil.

Blathering-Blatherskite: that’s not what I said.

dr. mad scientist: just wildly misunderstood.

Junior-Woodchuck74: Fenton… 

TheCrashiestCrash: I think we’re good! Thanks!

Blathering-Blatherskite: No problem!

TheWebbedWonder: yeah but it was fun! And I’m a lot closer to figuring out our adventure!

TheWebbedWonder: thanks!

Adventure-Pilot: anytime sweetie!

dr. mad scientist: your family is ridiculous

wreathedingold: seconded

Lucky-Gander: agreed

Adventure-Pilot: aw, you love us

lenaonme: you guys realize you’re all part of the family right

Violet-Sabrewing: the group chat is called “ _ Family  _ Group Chat”

TheWebbedWonder: don’t forget the exclamation points!!

Violet-Sabrewing: of course.

TheCrashiestCrash: Dewey and I are still wrangling the last of those demons, mr. d!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: then why are you texting?!

Junior-Woodchuck74: hang on, i’m coming over.

TheWebbedWonder: me too! woohoo, more demons to fight!!

lenaonme: oooh i’m coming over!!

Indy_Sabrewing: maybe not…

lenaonme: oh come on

lenaonme: we face way worse all the time!!

purpleisforthegays: oh that’s true…

Violet-Sabrewing: I’ve already packed by nunchucks.

purpleisforthegays: oh you girls are going to give me a heart attack one day.

Indy_Sabrewing: don’t worry honey, I’ve already doubled our vacation fund budget. I just had to take some away from the Junior Woodchucks donations.

Junior-Woodchuck74: aw man

lenaonme:  😔👊

Violet-Sabrewing: It do be like that.

green-sharpie:  _ [screenshot-my-longest-yeah-boi-ever.png] _

Indy_Sabrewing: Lena, you’re corrupting her.

lenaonme: as i should.

Tea Time: we all do need a vacation one of these days.

ICanDeweyIt: ooooooh

Junior-Woodchuck74: Dewey! More fighting, less texting!

ICanDeweyIt: I can multitask!

Junior-Woodchuck74: no you can’t!

Junior-Woodchuck74: studies have shown that multitasking is, on a nanosecond level, virtually impossible

ICanDeweyIt: well, impossible is just another kind of possible!

Junior-Woodchuck74: no it’s not.

ihaveahead!!!: why are you guys texting each other in the main group chat when you live in the same house?

ICanDeweyIt: because we can.

Junior-Woodchuck74: because he’s ignoring me and I can’t hear much over these demons

Lucky-Gander: checks out.

TheCrashiestCrash: we’re all good here!

Scrooge-McDuck: I think that’s the last of them.

mutant-krill!!!!: can you possibly save any specimens for me to study when I arrive in Duckburg?

green-sharpie: webby has ten.

Junior-Woodchuck74: i think Mom has a couple too.

Adventure-Pilot: sure do! and I’d be happy to share!

mutant-krill!!!!: great, thanks!

Blathering-Blatherskite: wait, are you coming to Duckburg?

dr. mad scientist: oh blathering blatherskite not again

Lil’ Bulb: be nice.

mutant-krill!!!!: based on the star and naval patterns I’ve been tracking, Mitzy, Gladstone, and I should be arriving in Duckburg in a couple days!

Junior-Woodchuck74: why didn’t you tell us in advance? We have to prepare!

mutant-krill!!!!: sorry little donald! But this is in advance!

Junior-Woodchuck74: okay fair

ghostbutler: @Tea Time

Tea Time: What

ghostbutler: the house is disgraceful

Tea Time: You bail every time a fight breaks out!

ghostbutler: one of the perks of the afterlife

Tea Time: ugh, you are insufferable.

Scrooge-McDuck: Duckworth was there! He and I fought together!

ICanDeweyIt: can confirm; i stuck my hand through him again!!!

ghostbutler: every time you do that i want to die and i’m already dead.

Tea Time: You saw me fighting twenty demons and bailed immediately.

ghostbutler: it’s a compliment! I figured you could take care of yourself!

ghostbutler: was I wrong?

Tea Time: no.

ghostbutler: perfect! And you still need to clean the house.

wreathedingold: I sense petty drama that somehow I did not cause.

wreathedingold: the world is unbalanced.

Scrooge-McDuck: oh don’t worry, you’ve caused plenty more than your share of petty drama

wreathedingold: oh Scroogey, you flatterer!

dr. mad scientist: i will never understand their romance.

M.A.M.A.: You and me both, and I’ve only been here for a couple of hours!

Blathering-Blatherskite: hey, you two finally agreed on something!

dr. mad scientist: you take that back!

Junior-Woodchuck74: just going to point out that we literally finished fighting five minutes ago and there’s already another fight

green-sharpie: what did you expect from this family?

Junior-Woodchuck74: okay fair

TheWebbedWonder: I’d like to think we’re pretty good 

TheWebbedWonder: especially compared to like the Beagle Boys and Mark Beaks and his mom

dr. mad scientist: HA that’s what he deserves

dr. mad scientist: mark beaks? how about no

ihaveahead!!!: we do not stan

dr. mad scientist: thank you

dr. mad scientist: me seeing mark beaks' name: wish i was jared, nineteen

green-sharpie: KHGFDFGHKLKHGFDSDFGH

Violet-Sabrewing: Don’t be mean

dr. mad scientist: i will not be lectured by a child!

M.A.M.A.: (or anyone)

dr. mad scientist: you say that like it’s an insult but it’s true

ihaveahead!!!: but you’re insulted, aren’t you?

dr. mad scientist: shut up.

TheWebbedWonder: hey Violet’s very knowledgeable!!

Violet-Sabrewing: thank you Webbigail!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: It’s interesting; both of those dysfunctional family dynamics are caused by power abuses and imbalances and lack of communication

Junior-Woodchuck74: both of them have gone far beyond that, but that’s the root of the problem

purpleisforthegays: interesting!

DosCaballero: forgive me, but who are these people again?

dr. mad scientist: god i wish that were me

moonlander-general: villainous fiends!!

DosCaballero: oh okay

DosCaballero: @TrêsCaballero time to fight! The Three Caballeros ride again!

TrêsCaballero: the Three Caballeros ride again!

UnoCaballero: The Three Caballeros ride again!

moonlander-general: Are you three going to say that every time you do something together?

Scrooge-McDuck: You get used to it lassie

Scrooge-McDuck: What you DON’T get used to is three freeloaders mooching off your house and food!!

UnoCaballero: haha bye Uncle Scrooge! Villanious villains to fight!!

Adventure-Pilot: Ooh, fights? Where?

UnoCaballero: not for u lol

Adventure-Pilot: HEY!!

M.A.M.A.: Should I be worried you’re all so eager to be violent or-

dr. mad scientist: you’ve punched me multiple times

M.A.M.A.: you deserved it

M.A.M.A.: And I’ll do it again

dr. mad scientist: noted

Scrooge-McDuck: please don’t incapitate my employee when he should be working

M.A.M.A.: So i’ll do it when he’s off the clock, got it!

dr. mad scientist: hey!!

Lil’ Bulb: he’s always working anyway

dr. mad scientist: true

Scrooge-McDuck: that’s right! You need to work less, lad. I don’t want the unions telling me to pay you overtime

dr. mad scientist: so I can get punched?

Violet-Sabrewing: only if you deserve it

dr. mad scientist: very encouraging, thank you /s

M.A.M.A.: you always deserve it

dr. mad scientist: there we go

TheCrashiestCrash: hey don’t worry Dr. G!! I think you’re a nice person!!

dr. mad scientist: that is factually incorrect but thank you

Blathering-Blatherskite: okay okay let’s all calm down

M.A.M.A.: just say the word, pollito, and I’ll punch his face in

Blathering-Blatherskite: that’s the opposite of what I was going for but thank you M’ma

TheWebbedWonder: YES VIOLENCE!!!

Blathering-Blatherskite:  _ Webby no _

TheWebbedWonder: I do think Fenton’s right though! Some problems are better solved with love and compassion

TheWebbedWonder: no matter how much I like punching things!!

Tea Time: that’s my granddaughter!

Scrooge-McDuck: atta girl!!

TheWebbedWonder: aww thank you 💖💖

adefinitelyrealboy: I agree! Talking and understanding can solve a lot of problems!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: statistically, a lot of problems are caused by simple miscommunication!

DosCaballero: especially in sitcoms and the like!

green-sharpie: it’s funny tho

purpleisforthegays: no, it’s just hard to watch

lenaonme: the secondhand embarrassment is real

Violet-Sabrewing: sometimes it’s done well, but that’s fairly rare. Of course that’s all an opinion.

TheCrashiestCrash: you gotta be careful to explain yourself before the problems get big!

Adventure-Pilot: that’s pretty insightful!!

**PM between Junior-Woodchuck74 and TotallyNotGizmoduck**

_ 4:53 pm _

Junior-Woodchuck74: Did you see the news?

TotallyNotGizmoduck: no I’m on the clock

TotallyNotGizmoduck: what happened? Is Gizmoduck needed?

Junior-Woodchuck74: I’m not sure

Junior-Woodchuck74: But there was another supposed PK sighting

TotallyNotGizmoduck: Interesting

TotallyNotGizmoduck: That’s the third time this week, and the seventh time this month

Junior-Woodchuck74: Some of them are definitely fake

Junior-Woodchuck74: But this one looks pretty real

Junior-Woodchuck74: If it’s faked they did a pretty good job

TotallyNotGizmoduck: my legal shift ends in forty minutes and Mr. McDuck will be displeased if I stay behind, but as long as I don’t mention overtime it should be fine

TotallyNotGizmoduck: Gyro does it all the time

Junior-Woodchuck74: Don’t take an example from Dr. Gearloose’s sleep schedule

TotallyNotGizmoduck: It is very unhealthy

TotallyNotGizmoduck: I’ve pulled my fair share of all-nighters working on projects, thought

Junior-Woodchuck74: That’s not the same though

Junior-Woodchuck74: I swear that man never sleeps

TotallyNotGizmoduck: He does

TotallyNotGizmoduck: at his desk

TotallyNotGizmoduck: for a couple minutes

TotallyNotGizmoduck: When Manny and I hide the coffee

Junior-Woodchuck74: of course

Junior-Woodchuck74: Well, thanks Fenton! Talk tomorrow?

TotallyNotGizmoduck: Of course

**PM between Junior-Woodchuck74 and lenaonme**

_ 7:31 pm _

lenaonme: so

lenaonme: i talked to fenton today

Junior-Woodchuck74: How did it go?

lenaonme: good, i think

Junior-Woodchuck74: That’s great!

lenaonme: he’s too nice for his own good

Junior-Woodchuck74: Well, you say the same thing about Webby, so I know that’s a compliment!

lenaonme: oh shut up

Junior-Woodchuck74: You know I’m right

Junior-Woodchuck74: anyway I think you guys will be friends!!

lenaonme: i think so too

Junior-Woodchuck74: Lena

Junior-Woodchuck74: You have no idea how happy that makes me

lenaonme: that’s what i’m going for

Junior-Woodchuck74: aww you softie

lenaonme: don’t tell anyone i have a reputation

Junior-Woodchuck74: I think you already ruined that one sorry Lena

Junior-Woodchuck74: we all see how you act around the Sabrewings and Webby

lenaonme: fair

**PM between Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl and worldsgreatestadventurer**

_ 7:51 pm _

worldsgreatestadventurer: did you get everything you needed?

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: yeah I got the amulet! 

worldsgreatestadventurer: perfect!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: I almost have the entire adventure mapped out

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl we just need the key from the goblin realm!

worldsgreatestadventurer: you didn’t get that from the Demon Monarch?   


Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: they got thrown in goblin jail for a diplomatic miscommunication a few years back and lost it

worldsgreatestadventurer: well that’s fine! more adventure for us, then!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: woo-oo!!

worldsgreatestadventurer: so, how do we get to the goblin realm?

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: I got the incantation we need to open a portal from the Demon Monarch!

worldsgreatestadventurer: perfect! Do you want to invite Lena and Violet over?

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: do you even need to ask?

worldsgreatestadventurer: I guess not!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: Violet and Lena are my supernatural summoning buddies! The boys just don’t have the same penchant for it as we do :(

worldsgreatestadventurer: ngl i think Louie got traumatized by one of your summonings

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: yeah, we try to do it when he’s out of the house now

worldsgreatestadventurer: good to hear

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: other than that, I finished the map of the rock course based on the testimony we got from that weird flesh creature from the other dimension!

worldsgreatestadventurer: haha yeah… that was weird…

worldsgreatestadventurer: let’s not think about that!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: fine by me!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: Do you want to play Death Soccer Obstacle Course with Dewey and I?

worldsgreatestadventurer: do I!!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: meet you in the backyard!

worldsgreatestadventurer: I’ll be there!

**Family Group Chat!!!**

_ 8:34 pm _

Junior-Woodchuck74: So.

Lucky-Gander: oh no

Blathering-Blatherskite: This can’t be good

DosCaballero: Donal’ used to do the same thing when he was mad!

UnoCaballero: I still do

UnoCaballero: and I am mad

TrêsCaballero:  _ oh no _

mutant-krill!!!!: what happened, little donald?

Junior-Woodchuck74: Dewey’s in the ER

M.A.M.A.: what? What happened? Do I need to arrest someone?!

Blathering-Blatherskite: Is there an evildoer on the loose?!

adefinitelyrealboy: oh no!! I hope he’s okay!!

TheCrashiestCrash: wait!! Dewey’s injured??

Tea Time: Launchpad you drove him there!!

TheCrashiestCrash: oh yeah!!

Lucky-Gander: ?

Tea Time: Dewey has a broken leg, but he’ll be fine

Junior-Woodchuck74: He was playing soccer on Webby’s obstacle course and jumped out of one of the third story windows

ihaveahead!!!: oh dear

ICanDeweyIt: it’s called death soccer obstacle course, dear hubert

dr. mad scientist: well I can see where the death part comes in

ghostbutler: In reality a broken leg is fairly tame compared to death

lenaonme: oh true

Violet-Sabrewing: you both would know

Indy_Sabrewing: Hey, be nice. Dewey just broke his leg.

TheWebbedWonder: there’s lots of death! Dewey’s just good enough to escape with only a broken leg!!

dr. mad scientist: jeez you are all crazy

lenaonme: so are you lol

ihaveahead!!!: you have no moral high ground here

Junior-Woodchuck74: Lena, what did we talk about?

lenaonme: bruh

lenaonme: sorry

ICanDeweyIt: nah ur good

dr. mad scientist: eh it’s true

dr. mad scientist: i’m a scientist i don’t hide from the truth

ihaveahead!!!: …

Lil’ Bulb: are you sure about that

dr. mad scientist: shut UP

dr. mad scientist: you will be silent or i will  _ make  _ you

ihaveahead!!!: oooh i’m so scared

wreathedingold: ooh secrets!

green-sharpie: i am looking

dr. mad scientist: oh blathering blatherskite

ICanDeweyIt: hey this is about me remember?

Junior-Woodchuck74: dewey oh my god

green-sharpie: ok i won’t go with you to the hospital then

green-sharpie: i’ll sit on the couch and watch ottoman empire

ICanDeweyIt: you won’t you love me too much

ICanDeweyIt: right? Louie?

ICanDeweyIt: LOUIE???

ICanDeweyIt: quick everyone help me spam his pms

dr. mad scientist: i have better things to be doing 

lenaonme: i spam his pms daily it won’t make a difference

ICanDeweyIt: yall are the worst 💔💔

UnoCaballero: so no one’s going to mention that that’s just not nice

UnoCaballero: ok

Adventure-Pilot: you’re just salty that I spam your pms daily

Adventure-Pilot: kids did i do it right? Did i use the slang???

TheWebbedWonder: yes good job!!

lenaonme: congrats

Junior-Woodchuck74: good job mom!!

Adventure-Pilot: heck yeah!!

green-sharpie: shut UP i'm coming

ICanDeweyIt: I knew you couldn't resist the Dewey charm!!

green-sharpie: oh trust me, it's very easy

green-sharpie: it's harder to _not_ resist it

ICanDeweyIt: but you do, because you loooooveeee meeeeee

green-sharpie: ...fine

ICanDeweyIt: 😌👊

Junior-Woodchuck74: DEWEY GET OFF YOUR PHONE YOU'RE ABOUT TO GO IN

**PM between 22 and ghostbutler**

_ 11:25 pm _

22: bitch

ghostbutler: How crass, Bentina. It fits you.

22: bitch

ghostbutler: blocked

22: unblock me

ghostbutler: yes?

22: bitch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *kicks down door* WE'RE BACK BAYBEE!!!!
> 
> I'm really sorry about the wait. I didn't intend for it to be this long. I did have a suspicion I might need more time, especially since the day I was originally supposed to post this was the first day of school and just before that I had just pounded out a pretty major piece of writing in two days, so I was a bit burned out. But I've had low motivation because of school, and I've also been working on a pretty big project - I'm writing the script for a fangan comic on instagram (cerealronpa)! (it was pretty fun working on this story and that at the same time because they have COMPLETELY different moods haha.) It won't be out for a while yet and the premise is pretty different from my usual stuff, but I highly encourage you to check it out when it comes out. 
> 
> anyway between Cerealronpa and school I definitely have less time and motivation than before, so I might push this back to updating every two weeks instead of weekly, sorry about that. I'm not entirely sure if I'll be able to even stick to that, given how long it took me to get this one out, but I'll do my best! it's a little better now that I've settled into a routine anyway. 
> 
> for the life of me I could not figure out a good username for Officer Cabrera when I was planning this, so I think the wait turned out well because of Frank's ask! I was writing her introduction and trying to think up one on the fly when I was like oH WAIT- djsdfgfd
> 
> a very very big thank you to everyone who replied to my tumblr post or discord message(s) about what pokemon the ducktales characters would have! if you responded to this fic offering to help me with pokemon I haven't forgotten that it's just talking to new people is scary so I chickened out this time sjdfgfdfghgfd i'll get you sometime! But for now this is good. I tried to include every pokemon people gave me so I hope it makes sense! Also a thank you to my friend Moon, who's a very big Pokemon fan but not a Ducktales fan, and who did her best to help me. She won't see this but she deserves a shoutout anyway. 
> 
> Della and Webby's dynamic is one of my favorites so expect more of it!! I was surprised to realize I hadn't written an PM of them yet so here we go!! There'll definitely be more of it in the future.
> 
> also there are lowkey Weblena hints in this one if you squint since I just kind of vibed with it while I was writing, but if Weblena's not your cup of tea don't worry. I love me some good Weblena any day, but the focus of this fic has and always will be family and character dynamics. I'm not sure how it'll play out but I love Webby and Lena's dynamic, romantic or platonic, so just a heads up!
> 
> don't pull all-nighters like Gyro unless you really need to, kids. get some sleep, it's good for you!
> 
> there's a very small tdp reference and a lot3c reference in here and i'm really curious if anyone will catch them 👀
> 
> there's also a very small line that's me just like Gyro trans? Gyro trans. Anyway you can pry trans Gyro out of my cold dead hands please and thank you
> 
> I think the "Gyro got banned from Starducks" thing is from a very very old discussion (like 2 years ago dsddfgjaksld) I think it might've been @fangirl530 on tumblr who brought it up? unsure. but it pops up in my head every now and then and i love it so much
> 
> I hope you enjoyed and I'll do my best to update again soon!! Your support, especially comments, but even just the hit count, means the world to me. It makes me really happy to hear people are enjoying this story!! I'm so happy it's as fun for you to read as it is for me to write.

**Author's Note:**

> names (as of the end of the story)
> 
> Huey: Junior-Woodchuck74  
> Dewey: ICanDeweyIt  
> Louie: Lou / green-sharpie*  
> Webby: TheWebbedWonder / Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl*  
> Donald: aw-phooey* / Dadnald  
> Scrooge: Scrooge-McDuck* / Moneybags  
> Della: worldsgreatestadventurer* / Adventure-Pilot / universesgreatestadventurer /acepilot  
> Beakley: 22  
> Launchpad: TheCrashiestCrash  
> Lena: lenaonme  
> Violet: Violet-Sabrewing  
> Duckworth: ghostbutler  
> Gyro: worldsgreatestinventor* / dr mad scientist / wildlymisunderstood  
> Fenton: TotallyNotGizmoduck* / Blathering-Blatherskite  
> Manny: ihaveahead!!!  
> Lil' Bulb: worldsgreatestinvention* / Lil' Bulb  
> Gladstone: Lucky-Gander  
> Fethry: mutant-krill!!!!  
> Indy: Indy_Sabrewing  
> Ty: purpleisforthegays  
> Goldie: Wine-Aunt* / wreathedingold  
> Penny: moonlander-general
> 
> *main
> 
> thanks for reading; I hope you enjoyed! This is mostly just a joke fic but yeah. It's really fun to explore the characters in this kind of low-stakes, fun setting. 
> 
> btw, I don't usually do multichapter fics because I get long blocks of low motivation and energy, but I've already written two and a half chapters and this fic is by far the easiest to write since it's just silliness. I'd like to have started Chapter 4 before I post Chapter 2 but I don't wanna make you guys wait too long. So probably around a week or so. 
> 
> Next chapter: Huey finally gets into the Team Science group chat (for no lack of trying on his part), Boyd joins the fray!


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